My sexuality is a part of – not separate from my daily life. Something that I live — a way of being — rather than a goal I reach. When I’m conscious, present and willing to be vulnerable, my orgasms serve as a window into my wellbeing. My orgasms are ME.
Bodysex is a transformative and undefinable experience for women, of all ages and sexual orientations, interested in the empowering freedom that comes from shedding the masks, roles and clothing that we hide behind everyday. The workshop is done in the nude yet it is non sexual. It is about raising consciousness, creating sisterhood, integrating body shame and celebrating pleasure.
The next Bodysex Retreat Weekend will be April 20th-22nd 2017, held at a private retreat centre near Saskatoon SK. Canada. It’s the perfect place to relax, let go and just be. The retreat has a “slumber party” feel to it with healthy home made meals and snacks lovingly prepared by me and my assistant Patti throughout the weekend. Henna tattooing and hair braiding is also offered by local artist Stiina. During non workshop hours participants will be free to walk trails or the labyrinth, spend time alone or visit with the other women.
The two day workshop will include:
- Sacred circle where, in first person, we share how we feel about our bodies and our orgasms. This is the time to let go of any shame that has been holding us back from fully celebrating our pleasure. Through this, the roots of sisterhood will begin forming as we accept each other for who are. No more and no less.
- Group genital show and tell. This is a powerful ceremony where we display our vulva one at a time, identify all of the parts of our anatomy and recognize the beauty and diversity amongst us.
- Learn new methods to enhance our orgasms and our self loving practice. Understanding our sexual anatomy, how breath, movement, sound and our pc muscle work to enhance our pleasure on all levels.
- Self loving, side by side, in the circle during “erotic recess.” Sharing our own pleasure, without expectation, with other women is one of the most powerful experiences that you will ever have. This is about learning to be our own lover, healing body shame, overcoming sexual guilt and sharing in sisterhood. This is also an opportunity for me to help personally guide you, towards orgasm or increased pleasure if you have never orgasmed or are having difficulty and would like help.
- Group massage. This ancient practice is almost impossible to describe in words. It is a transcendent experience where we are able to give and receive loving, non sexual touch from the other women in the circle.
Location: Outside Saskatoon SK. Canada. (exact location will be disclosed to registered participants only)
(transportation from Saskatoon to the retreat location provided for out of town participants for a fee)
Dates: 1pm, April 20th – 1pm, April 22nd
Cost: $595 CDN for first time participants, $395 for returning. Included in this fee is the full Bodysex workshop, mystic wand vibrator, healthy meals(locally sourced and organic where possible) shared accommodation for 2 nights (there is a price reduction of $70 for women not wanting to use a vibrator or bringing their own)
$200 NRF deposit on registration.
Space is limited to 10 participants
Please advise me of any dietary restrictions
Register on my website here or email email@example.com for all enquiries.
When I masturbate I have a hard time being able to forget that it’s my own hand and not someone else’s. I can orgasm but I want it to feel like it’s someone else doing it so I can enjoy it more. Knowing it’s mine makes me feel bad. How can I make it feel like someone else?
Thank you for your question although I have to admit that I felt sad reading it. While I completely understand wanting to be touched by someone else, I’m curious about why you feel bad knowing that it’s your own? What about someone else’s touch would make you enjoy it more? Because I don’t know more about you and your feelings, I can only answer you based on assumptions and experiences I hear from other women.
Touch is a physical act but it comes from a place of intention within ourselves. I like to think of our hand as simply a vehicle carrying and delivering this intention. Through touch we can deliver powerful messages ranging from love, appreciation and acceptance – to boredom, expectation and even hate.
I’d like you to ask yourself what your intention is when you touch someone else? What do you think they’d feel from you? What changes your intention when you direct it towards yourself? Rather than trying to make your own touch feel like someone else’s I recommend changing the intention with which you touch yourself to one that is loving, present and curious. If this feels too difficult to do then pretend you’re touching someone you love and hopefully after time you will begin to feel that for yourself.
You are guaranteed only one relationship your entire life and that’s with you. It can be the greatest of all love affairs, something to count on and a safe harbour, or something to tie you over when there’s nothing better. It’s up to you to decide.
Much love to you J,
Have a question for you. Situation is new to me so I wasn’t sure who to ask.
I have been seeing this woman for a while and things are great. When we first started sleeping together she told me she squirted. I was kind of excited by this because it was new to me, now I’ve been questioning it a little because it seems too easy.
What I mean by this is that at first it was quite exciting because men often don’t get to see such physical evidence of their effort to pleasure their partner. We were getting to know each other physically and it was kind of a rush, no pun intended.
Now though, it almost feels too easy. She will squirt 7-10 times and while I hope it’s because if something I’m doing I can’t help wonder if it’s just natural for her and I’m not really doing anything. I feel like I should have to be working harder for this if that makes sense. At this point I’m using other cues to judge pleasure because the squirting happens so easily.
So here is the question, what exactly is squirting? Is it like cumming? Is it easier for a woman? Should it be this easy or am I just overthinking this whole thing and should just enjoy the experience?
Hey! I’m so glad you asked me! These are great questions and ones that I’m sure many guys have. It’s also interesting for me to answer because I rarely hear the male perspective of this scenario.
First of all squirting is ejaculation but it is not an orgasm. It can accompany an orgasm but just because a woman squirts does not necessarily mean she orgasmed. This is true for men as well in that “cumming” is not the same as orgasming. Many men ejaculate at the same time as they orgasm ,but with practice can learn to delay the ejaculation while allowing the orgasm. This means that a man can keep his erection and continue having penetrative sex.
Some women squirt very easily and love it. Some women don’t or haven’t squirted. Some women who squirt don’t experience any pleasure from it. Some have learned that guys like to see them squirt so they do it almost on cue. This doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy it but it can mean that at times it may be more of a performance or distraction from the fact that she isn’t orgasming. Squirting is a release that does not (and should not) require bearing down or pushing, but rather letting go.
For both men and women sex can become more of a performance than an actual experience when we are more worried about the other person’s feelings or perceptions than we are about our own pleasure.
I can’t tell you what this woman is experiencing but you seem to be a guy who wants to know both that his partner is experiencing pleasure, and that you are doing what you can to support her in that. These are both great things! I think what’s necessary here is a conversation between the two of you about what each of you like and what squirting is like for her. You may also feel that you’d like the opportunity to practice pleasuring her in other ways and this conversation would be a great time to express that desire. Just like a woman can get stuck in the habit of quickly having a clitoral orgasm**, she can also get in the pattern of quickly squirting. Part of practicing being a good lover is learning variety in giving and receiving pleasure.
I really encourage you to talk to her — gently and absolutely non accusatory. Having an open dialogue about sex is healthy and it means that the possibility of so much MORE is there!
I hope this helps. Please keep me posted!
** Normally I prefer to not categorize different types of orgasms because I believe that they all come from the clitoris – either directly or indirectly. Squirting happens from stimulation of the g-spot which is not a spot at all really but rather the back end of the clitoris, which can be accessed inside a woman’s vagina. For the purpose of simplifying my answer I categorized clitoral orgasm.
“Your partner can help you to have an orgasm but not be orgasmic. This is your responsibility. Because the actual quality of the orgasm depends on you, it is important to develop an awareness of how your body moves, how your muscles react, how the depth and rhythm of your breathing can help in the experience of pleasure, and how pleasure can be intensified and made to last longer. You become at once the giver and receiver………As you learn the techniques, you’ll strengthen your trust and confidence in yourself as a sexually attractive individual, and you’ll discover that pleasuring yourself physically is an essential part of loving yourself emotionally, bringing together your sexual energy and your heart. Self pleasuring makes your heart happy. “ – Margo Anand
Follow the link to register for the last remaining spot in this retreat:
*** photo credit Dana Kellet