Freedom Is…..

Freedom is…

never brushing my hair,
biking without a helmet,
sun on my pussy,
sand in my ass crack. 

Freedom is…
accepting my self as I am,
preferring my bare skin to clothing,
letting my stretch marks show,
my abundant lips dangle.

Freedom is…
experiencing my sexuality through my;
open body, open mouth, open eyes and open ears,
and realizing that these experiences can happen all day everyday,
with or without my genitals. 

Freedom is…
listening to my body and 
trusting that by simply breathing, I can handle everything I feel.

Freedom is…
choosing feeling over avoidance — even when it’s painful.

Freedom is…
Having sex with the lights on,
talking dirty,
fantasizing without shame,
saying “I’ve got one (or two or three) more in me” even if my lover is done —
and not apologizing for it.

Freedom is…
being vulnerable with people that I love,
knowing that in my vulnerability I create an opportunity for deeper intimacy —
whether they meet me in it or not. 

Freedom is…
being brave enough to ask for what I want
and not taking it personally when I don’t get it.

Freedom is…
knowing what my core values are, 
choosing to live a life that is in alignment with these core values, 
and recognizing the freedom that this alignment gives me. 

Freedom is… 
Me. 

**photo credit goes to Stiina

Q&A: “I Can Make Myself Cum No Problem, But Not With Him”

 

Almost always the answers are within us – sometimes we just need someone to ask the right questions to bring them out.

Q: Hey Natasha, are you still doing q&a? I have a sex question and I’m all kinds of embarrassed to ask.

A: Yes totally! Ask away! 

Q: Okay. So I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months. The sex has been great and at first I was cumming every single time. Lately, the past month or two, I haven’t been able to orgasm with him at all. The sex is still super hot and I really enjoy it, but what’s going on? I can make myself cum no problem, but not with him anymore.

A:  Have you tried masturbating with him? Did anything happen of significance around the time you stopped cumming during sex with him?

Q: I haven’t tried masturbating with him, sometimes I touch myself when we fuck but even that doesn’t do it. When it was strictly physical/casual, I could easily orgasm every time without touching myself. I can’t think of anything of significance…although maybe it was around the time I started to develop feelings for him. And of course I haven’t expressed those feelings to him…which is probably the problem, isn’t it?

A: Yes!! That is very insightful of you! Having feelings for someone and expressing them requires vulnerability. Orgasms are vulnerable. To orgasm is to surrender and surrender can’t happen when you’re holding back.

Q: Well shit, that makes perfect sense. Having been in a relationship for so long, sex and vulnerability with someone new is so different. So I guess I’m gonna have to do something about these feelings, both relationship-wise and sexually. It could totally scare him away, but if it does then that just means that he’s not right for me right now.

A: Yes!!! look at you owning your feelings more than your need for his response to them!! Yay!! That’s liberation!

Our Beautiful Love Affair

I met you 9 years ago….. after a long and stressful flight home from Ethiopia, with my newly adopted daughter. 

Exhausted and scared of the long transition ahead, I was surprised and relieved to see you in the kitchen greeting our arrival.  

Although it was love at first sight, I couldn’t know then how deep that love would grow, or how much we would go through together in the years to come. 

You were there for me while I helped my daughter adjust — through her tears and tears of my own. You were there as we bonded – her learning that she could trust me as a mama, and me learning to not take her initial rejection personally. You were there while I watched lovingly as she slept peacefully beside me — hoping we’d make it through. And… You were there when I knew we had. 

You were there as my family grew and we welcomed another daughter into our home. This one from my own tummy. You were there for the late nights I sat up with her — feeling a mix of both awe and fear at what I’d gotten myself into again. 

You were there while I cuddled with countless children on my worn out couch, reading book after book after book….

You were there as I took time for myself during those busy days running a daycare. The children learning that when you came out, mama was going to sit for a little bit. Because of that, they seemed to hold you with reverence and importance too, and often liked a taste of what you had to offer. 

You were there as I felt the uncomfortable stirrings of change and dissatisfaction in my body. Providing endless cups of tea as I poured myself over books trying to find the answer to what it was I was looking for. You were there when I discovered that the answer was in me. 

You were there as I painfully untied the threads of my marriage. Unsteady and scared, you grounded me through the consistent warmth you offered my hands, and my body. 

You were there as I picked myself up off the floor, and created a new path for me and my children.

You were there for not only me, but for the other women that I welcomed and supported into my home. Sharing stories, tears, laughter and pleasure – they too came to know you as a constant.

Like me, you’ve changed a bit over the years. A broken piece here and there,  marks that won’t wash off — stained from endless memories. I’ve learned to adapt to your age, happily holding you in a different and more gentle way. It seems awkward to those who don’t know you as well,  but I don’t mind. I especially love how your flavour has developed over time. It’s so good that I’m hesitant to go elsewhere. The way you’ve aged has only made you more interesting and beautiful to me, reminding me to look at my own aging that way.  

Last week however, an important part of you broke and, through my tears, I knew that your end was near. For a few days I handled you even more gently, seeking comfort in the warmth you still provided and discussing with my children ways to fix you.  But I knew that it was time to let you go.

So yesterday I bought a beautiful new tea pot. Hand made with love by a local potter. It’s shiny, the handle is in tact and there are no stains. Her tea doesn’t taste like your tea, her edges are too smooth and I keep forgetting that I don’t need to hold her as gently as I held you. I know that I’ll grow to love her, but for now, you’re still holding the space in my heart. 

It’s not goodbye. I will still see you everyday on my shelf, amongst other treasures that I love, reminding me of  all the things I hold dear: family, commitment, perseverance, warmth and unconditional love. Thank you for our beautiful love affair.

Natasha 

**** Special thanks to Mary-Anne Parker for gifting me this tea pot 9 years ago. <3

New Fall Bodysex Retreat Dates!! (And Testimonial)

“I have been trying to put into words since I got home from your retreat, how it’s changed me as a woman, a mother and a lover. I have done a lot of retreats and always come home with little nuggets, but this one. Wow. My entire perspective of life has shifted. I am happy. I’m happy in my body. I’m happy with my vulva. I am so into being able to relax and enjoy the pleasure that my partner wants to give me. Sensual touch, both ways. Just being naked and close, whether it’s sexual or not.
It’s allowed me to be vulnerable and open in a way I didn’t think would ever happen – especially not in this body. But it’s 100% changed my marriage, for the better. Both of us have opened up and are able to communicate better, to speak our hearts and minds. Shame left me at the retreat, I came home different and everyone that truly knows me, sees it.
So thank you. Thank you for what you do. Thank you for being a fierce space holder and loving us through everything. Thank you for being open and embracing us all. Thank you for putting on such an amazing retreat. I took so much from it and I’m so happy that I came and can’t wait to do another one.”

– April Bodysex Retreat participant

Bodysex Saskatchewan Workshop/Retreat Fall 2018

Bodysex is a transformative and undefinable experience for women, of all ages and sexual orientations, interested in the empowering freedom that comes from shedding the masks, roles and clothing that we hide behind everyday. The workshop is done in the nude yet it is non sexual. It is about raising consciousness, creating sisterhood, integrating body shame and celebrating pleasure.

The next Bodysex Retreat Weekend will be October 19th – 21st 2018, held at a private retreat centre near Saskatoon SK. Canada. It’s the perfect place to relax, let go and just be. The retreat has a “slumber party” feel to it with healthy home made meals and snacks lovingly prepared by me and my assistant Patti throughout the weekend. Henna tattooing and hair braiding is also offered by local artist Stiina. During non workshop hours participants will be free to walk trails or the labyrinth, spend time alone or visit with the other women.

The two day workshop will include: 

  • Sacred circle where, in first person, we share how we feel about our bodies and our orgasms.  This is the time to let go of any shame that has been holding us back from fully celebrating our pleasure.  Through this, the roots of sisterhood will begin forming as we accept each other for who are. No more and no less.
  • Group genital show and tell. This is a powerful ceremony where we display our vulva one at a time, identify all of the parts of our anatomy and recognize the beauty and diversity amongst us.
  • Learn new methods to enhance our orgasms and our self loving practice. Understanding our sexual anatomy, how breath, movement, sound and our pc muscle work to enhance our pleasure on all levels.
  • Self loving, side by side, in the circle during “erotic recess.” Sharing our own pleasure, without expectation, with other women is one of the most powerful experiences that you will ever have. This is about learning to be our own lover, healing body shame, overcoming sexual guilt and sharing in sisterhood. This is also an opportunity for me to help personally guide you, towards orgasm or increased pleasure if you have never orgasmed or are having difficulty and would like help.
  •  Group massage. This ancient practice is almost impossible to describe in words. It is a transcendent experience where we are able to give and receive loving, non sexual touch from the other women in the circle.

Retreat Details:

Location: Outside Saskatoon SK. Canada. (exact location will be disclosed to registered participants only)

(transportation from Saskatoon to the retreat location provided for out of town participants for a fee)

Dates: 1pm, October 19th – 1pm, October 21st 2018

Cost: $645 CDN for first time participants, $500 for returning. Included in this fee is the full Bodysex workshop, mystic wand vibrator, healthy meals (locally sourced and organic where possible) shared accommodation for 2 nights (there is a price reduction of $70 for women not wanting to use a vibrator or bringing their own)

$200 NRF deposit on registration.

Space is limited to 10 participants

Please advise me of any dietary restrictions

Register on my website here or email natashawiig@hotmail.com for all enquiries.

Bodysex Quebec Workshop/Retreat Fall 2018

Bodysex is a transformative and undefinable experience for women, of all ages and sexual orientations, interested in the empowering freedom that comes from shedding the masks, roles and clothing that we hide behind everyday. The workshop is done in the nude yet it’s non sexual. It’s about raising consciousness, creating sisterhood, integrating body shame and celebrating pleasure.

Bodysex Quebec Workshop/Retreat will be held September 22-23 2018, at a private home in Drummondville, east of Montreal. It’s the perfect place to relax, let go and just be. These retreats have a “slumber party” feel to them with catered meals and snacks provided. During down time you may visit with the other women, spend time alone, journal, read or just BE.

The two day workshop will include: 

  • Sacred circle where, in first person, we share how we feel about our bodies and our orgasms. This is the time to share any shame that has been holding us back from fully celebrating our pleasure. Through this, the roots of sisterhood will begin forming as we accept each other for who are. No more and no less.
  • Group genital show and tell. This is a powerful ceremony where we display our vulva one at a time in front of a mirror, identify all of the parts of our sexual anatomy and recognize the beauty and diversity amongst us. Understanding of our sexual anatomy is the foundation of sexual pleasure.
  • Learning methods to enhance our orgasms and our self loving practice. How breath, movement, sound and our pc muscle work to enhance our pleasure on all levels.
  • Self loving, side by side, in the circle during “erotic recess.” Sharing our own pleasure, without expectation, with other women is one of the most powerful experiences that you will ever have. This is about learning to be our own lover, integrating body shame, letting go of sexual oppression and sharing in sisterhood. This is also an opportunity for me to help personally guide you, towards orgasm or increased pleasure if you have never orgasmed or are having difficulty and would like help.
  • Group massage. This ancient practice is almost impossible to describe in words. It is a transcendent experience where we are able to give and receive loving, non sexual touch from the other women in the circle.

 

Retreat Details:

Location: Drummondville, Quebec (exact location will be disclosed to registered participants only)

Dates: September 22nd, 10am — September 23rd, 6pm 2018

Cost: $575 CDN. Included in this fee is the full Bodysex workshop, shared accommodations for 1 night, delicious catered meals, rechargeable vibrator to take home (value $100)

***$200 NRF deposit on registration.

Space is limited to 8 participants

Please advise me of any dietary restrictions

Register on my website here

or email natashawiig@hotmail.com for all enquiries.

Deadline to register is September 8th 2018.

 

About Natasha

Natasha Salaash is a Betty Dodson-certified Bodysex instructor, Orgasm Coach and Sex and Intimacy Counsellor who believes that orgasm and pleasure — when practiced consciously — can serve as a gateway into self awareness and sexual awakening. Natasha is passionate in helping women explore their mind and body to discover their sexuality, build confidence, feel empowered, and live authentically. She believes that our primary sexual relationship is with ourself and that it is the base from which all other relationships can grow. Through her Bodysex Workshops Natasha provides a safe space and dialogue of shared vulnerability, where women are supported in shedding their physical and emotional masks, learning about and accepting their bodies, developing intimacy with themselves and celebrating their pleasure.

Nude In Nature Bodysex Pics

I then really understood the importance of being one without all our layers in nature. I had thought about how drab the landscape and sky seemed that day, and was a bit disappointed it wasn’t a green, leafy, bright blue sky sort of day. But once I saw the women and their skin against the earth they seemed to fit in perfectly, it allowed their beauty to be the focus. It was like they were the first flowers blooming this spring season.” – photographer Meghan Mickelson

At each of my Bodysex Saskatoon retreats the women have the option of getting Nude in Nature photos taken of them. For the women who choose to have them done, the rest of us support them by watching and encourageing – letting each woman know how we see her. We pay attention to and admire their unique beauty  – the contrast of a dark nipple against the back drop of the sky, the soft and inviting curve of a waist, the strength of the muscles on someone’s back, the sexy expression on a face, the presence or absence of pubic hair. We adore each other, we laugh, we cry and we carry the shared vulnerability from the circle, into the photo shoot.

Here is a small glimpse into what was captured that day :

*** All photos captured by Meghan Mickelson and shared by the women with enthusiastic permission.

And…… having fun showing some different poses 🙂

 

Bodysex Is The Ultimate Love Affair

Sometimes it’s difficult for me to write about Bodysex retreats because I feel a responsibility to honour the other women through my words and yet, just like in the circle, I can only speak for myself.  I find that each retreat peels another layer off of the armour that I wear and, with that, the mirror image that I see reflected in the women’s eyes becomes more clear. Seeing myself with more clarity — and less armour — frees me to be me. I can only hope and trust that this increased freedom to be me, gives the women the freedom to experience themselves in their full expression as well. 

I came into last weekend’s retreat grieving the end of a relationship that was and is very dear to me. I felt heartbroken and tender — yet at the same time excited and curious to be amongst a new circle of women. As soon as Patti and I got to the retreat space and began setting up, my body — remembering the familiar smells, sights and feels of the space — began to settle and soften. Body sex is home to me.

The next morning while we waited for the women to arrive, I laid down naked on the couch for some quiet time while Patti and Justine sat across the room doing henna. In between answering texts from nervous women, reading quotes and drinking tea — I touched myself. Connecting to my body through pleasure always grounds me — bringing me into me.  Pleasuring myself in the same room as them, while they were experiencing pleasure in their own way, didn’t seem at all strange. When I orgasmed Patti looked back at me and smiled, then went back to discussing her henna design with Justine. I smiled too in recognition of the freedom I felt experiencing this kind of intimacy — in full acceptance and non judgement — by women that I’m not sexually intimate with. We eat, we sleep, we orgasm, we don’t orgasm, we cry, we share our darkest secrets and deepest shame. In all of it there is no hierarchy or relative importance between these things and I couldn’t help but think that this is how I imagine the perfect love affair. 

That feeling of freedom stayed with me the entire weekend and I can honestly say that I felt free in a way that I have never felt before. I loved being naked and felt completely at home and beautiful in my body. Even outside in the cold I’d pull up my dress so that my pussy was exposed and free. In this freedom my vulva lips bloomed and opened up to the world as if to say “this is me in my abundance and I’m not hiding anymore!!!!” 

The freedom showed up in my ability to empathize with the women’s pain but not wish I could rescue them from it. Knowing that this journey is hard, I felt less responsibility for everyone’s experience and yet somehow trusted that they were having the experience that they needed. I was able to reach out physically in ways that I haven’t before — trusting myself and the women that it was welcome. I’ve always felt like I’m too much and because of this I’d hold back. Feeling free in the way I express love and compassion, I held a woman in a fully naked body hug, as she grieved a loss of her own. 

In this freedom I realized that Bodysex represents a unique and beautiful dichotomy of self growth and self pleasure while at the same time an experience of deep interpersonal connection. In the contrast of these two things, we find the common connection of vulnerability. Each of us in the circle travels our own path, expresses our own shame, feels our own pain, and celebrates our own pleasure, yet we are never alone for any of it.  We do so being witnessed and witnessing in a circle of sisterhood. Body sex is the ultimate love affair. 

With this very difficult and vulnerable piece of writing, another layer of armour falls off and once again my mirror image is more clear.  This freedom isn’t only in Bodysex. This freedom is in me. 

Much love to all of you: Bambi, Bunny, Aloha, Turtle, Kiki, Ginny, Sage, Marina, Rosa, Sasha, Roxy and Liberty. 

**special thanks to my dear sister Patti who’s encouragement as I wrote this meant the world to me and without it I could not have shared it. You are a gift. 

** photo credit to the talented Meghan Mickelson and shared with permission

“I’m Here Because Of My Lineage and It Ends Today”

This past weekend I led a Bodysex retreat away from home for the first time in the 3 years that I’ve been facilitating these circles. I dreamt of bringing Bodysex to other places even before I began this work, but have always held back from actually doing it — with old stories of self worth and insecurities coming up. Encouraged however by the loving support and confidence of my lover who continually invited me to bring Bodysex to Quebec, I began opening to the idea. He introduced me to Marika, my wonderful sister who offered her assistance and perfect womb like home for the circle, as well as a talented vegan chef who seemed very excited at the prospect of nourishing our pleasure with his food. The combination of support and encouragement felt to me like I was being welcomed into a loving mama’s bosom and reminded me that I’m never alone in anything. As the registrations began coming in I felt both humbled and afraid of the depth and honour of what this meant, all the while reminding myself that my staying small doesn’t serve anyone……

Each body sex circle seems to have it’s own theme that develops organically and somehow, like providence, the theme often seems to match the needs of many of the women in the circle. “I’m here because of my lineage” said a woman across from me as we took turns sharing our stories of physical and sexual shame. Softly and lyrically alternating between English and French she explained that she wanted to heal the pain of the women who came before her — to honour them and also so that she doesn’t have to carry their shame and pain anymore. “It ends today.”

It’s common in Bodysex circles to hear women talk about wanting to heal so that future generations don’t need to carry this shame, but this was the first time I’d heard spoken the intention to heal for the ancestors who came before us. Touched deeply by this I thought of my own mother, my grandmothers, aunts, and women I don’t even know the names of. I wondered what their stories were, what pain and joy they held deep inside their bodies, under their clothes and between their legs. What lived and unlived dreams did they have? Had they ever felt safe to cry in shame or to cry in pleasure? I envisioned their shame like a heavy but invisible burden, attached to their bodies, their wombs, the lips of their vulvas and their silence. In what ways I wondered, do I still hold this invisible weight and in what ways am I passing it on silently to my children? 

As the weekend went on we bonded over our shared stories, time in the hot tub, laughter, fantasies, eating delicious vegan food and being loving witnesses to the beauty of each other’s bodies. We took turns opening our vulvas, expressing adoration and wishes in recognition of this valued part of our body that is so often ignored or forgotten. Different women spoke of visions of their ancestors or nameless women in their dreams and I felt the power of our experiences extend far beyond the walls we were in. When it came time to celebrate our orgasms together we were quiet at first but, as our pleasure built, our sounds carried through the ceiling to the kitchen where the chef was preparing our plates. I couldn’t help but think of how symbolic it was to have a man come to the house — solely to be in service to us — while we celebrated our bodies and our pleasure on our own. Just WOW. 

Full of sexual energy and inspired by the visions and sounds of women in pleasure around me, I brought myself to orgasm over and over. As I did I imagined the women in my lineage with their secret stories of shame and pleasure and I lifted the stories for them, like weights hanging off of my body, and threw them up into the air to be released with my orgasmic energy. I came again and again with this image in my mind, physically and energetically cleansing my ancestors and myself of their shame. As I did so I acknowledged the honour of being able to live the path that I do, the strength that I have to do so,  and felt absolute gratitude for the women before me who led the way.  I’m here because of my lineage, and It ends today.”

Thank you to my new sisters for sharing with me: Angel, Ananda, Phoenix, Rayon de Lumiere, Secret Island, Avalin, Esmerelda, Natasha and Porte de tous les Possibles.

*** stay tuned for my fall Bodysex Quebec date

We Are All The Same Body

The beautiful share comes from a woman who has sat in the Bodysex circle with me 5 times. This is Bodysex.

** NSFW

I now see humanness in every woman.

And a person I know

Like the woman who walks in all beautiful to the gym with her long curly hair.
First instinct is to judge her
Because she’s obviously done her hair for the gym.
But then her body type and hair reminds me of this other woman,
one that I went to Bodysex with.
And suddenly I’m not judging her anymore,
because she has sat in circle with me.
Or a totally groomed lady comes in with her fancy mom hair and I see a woman I sat with in Bodysex.
So I don’t judge because I know what might be happening behind the illusion
Or a young single girl comes in and I think “you have it so easy, no kids. No responsibility.
and then I see the girl from body sex who wants nothing more than a committed relationship and kids
It goes on.
There is a connection to be had with every woman and each of us has a story.
I feel so much more open to other people’s stories now,
Because the common themes of wanting love and struggling for acceptance and all of it come together.
We are all the same body.

 

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