Remember when we used to just have tea” I said to one of the women across the circle from me as I sat up post orgasm. We were in the middle of one of our many celebrations of pleasure and the reality of the moment just struck me. This is a woman who held my babies after they were born, bonded with me over breastfeeding and co sleeping stories, and was now sharing orgasms alongside me like it was the most normal thing in the world. In any direction I turned I could see more women, all now sisters to me, experiencing the pleasure in their bodies using fingers and toys, in every position imaginable. As one of us orgasmed others would watch or follow, cheering each other on as we would with any other great event in life. This Is Real Life. 

When I set out to create last weekend’s Advanced Bodysex Retreat, my hope was that it would be a space that would encourage myself and the other women to feel more. I wanted to get beyond the thinking that orgasms are solely genital, and into feeling and exploring from within our whole selves. Because all of the women had attended at least one Bodysex workshop before, I knew that they’d have a greater level of comfort in being nude, trust in other women, be willing to go to deeper and more difficult places and a desire to experience feeling more in a way that I think many of us long for. My vision for this retreat was more of an experience rather than a place to arrive at, and I struggled with figuring out how to encourage that experience.

Sticking with what I know best, I decided to model the retreat after the path I’ve walked these past few years. Having “cracked myself open”, I aimed to create experiences that would encourage the women to crack open with me. Almost as soon as the weekend started I could see evidence of feeling more everywhere I looked and, even though these feelings weren’t always comfortable or easy, we were definitely feeling. Together in our circle we “created a safe container to be the mother, daughter, grandmother and whore.” Exploring our sexual history and it’s affects on our current sexuality, giving ourselves and each other sexual permission, examining our values, wants and desires, questioning our barriers to being present, gaining awareness of our breath, experiencing pleasure, sharing our fantasies, awakening the 5 senses, having our vulvas drawn, creating our wheel of wholeness and vulnerably unveiling our shame. Throughout it all we held each other with acceptance and compassion in the safety of the circle.

I’m finding it impossible to put words to the experiences from this weekend and so, with permission from my sisters, I’m going to share a different kind of testimonial. Before clicking on the following recording, I recommend you find a quiet place alone, close your eyes and listen with all of your senses to what feeling more can sound like.


If you’re interested in “cumming for tea with me” my next Bodysex retreat will be April 20th -22nd.



Join my mailing list to receive the latest blog posts

You have Successfully Subscribed!