After pouring English breakfast tea into my beautiful hand made mug, I take my first sip and sigh. Growing up with an English mother I have always loved the ritual of drinking tea. Boiling the water, letting it steep in a pot, pouring the milk first and then the tea – it has to be made a certain way otherwise I’d rather not have it at all. Setting the mug down on the counter I go back to my task at hand – washing an assortment of brightly coloured dildos in the kitchen sink. Tonight I am teaching a Penis Pleasing Workshop at Positive Passions, and this is part of my preparation.
A buzz from my phone interrupts my thoughts as my 2nd oldest daughter texts to say that she’s having trouble getting her little sister to sleep. “Try singing ‘mama loves you’” I text back, hoping that she falls asleep soon or she’ll be grumpy tomorrow.
My awareness shifts back to my work and I continue to wash the dildos noticing the differences in each one – colour, veins, testicles and size. Wondering which ones the women will want to practice on, I settle on a variety and set them onto a towel to dry.
Ten minutes later – carrying my mug of tea in one hand and my rainbow of dildos in another, I go to the workshop room and set up the space.
I sit down and begin going over the material while at the same time wondering if the kids remembered to feed the bunnies. Standing up to grab my phone to text them, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wall. On the outside I look like one woman but on the inside I know I’m made up of many different women. Women reflective of all of the journey’s that I’ve been on. I see the madonna, I see the whore, the sensitive and the rude. The woman who used to be too scared to walk into this store, and the woman who can now comfortably talk about anything and everything to do with sex. I’m all of these women.
It has taken me time to get used to talking openly in this way and also to learn that there are times when it’s best to not say anything at all. If I’m honest I can admit that I still worry about judgement from others and have to remind myself all the time that I can be both a loving mother and a sexual woman — especially in a culture that tells me I can’t be.
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. The workshop participants have arrived and it’s time for me to go greet them.
Mug in hand I walk to the door and say “Hello my name is Natasha. I am a mother of 5, Sex educator, Orgasm Coach, and Bodysex facilitator. Today we are going to learn different ways to pleasure a penis…. “