I Saw My Vulva Style In The “Before” Pics For Labia Plasty Surgery


It looks like a gaping wound,” “It’s ugly,” “It’s too fat,” “Somethings just not right,” “ Too dangly,” “Not like the one’s on porn,” “It’s the wrong colour,” “It looks loose,” “Smelly,” “Dirty,” “I’m too scared to look,” “I think it’s damaged from masturbation,” “Not tucked in nicely,” “Too wet,” “It’s uneven,” “I thought of cutting that part off before I showed you so you wouldn’t see it.”

These are words that I’ve heard from women in Bodysex workshops or individual Coaching sessions, and I’ve tended to think that I’m immune from these thoughts. However this week I saw my vulva “style” in the “before” pics for labia plasty surgery and I can’t stop thinking about it.  If someone like me feels bothered by it, I can’t imagine how a teenage girl would feel. I don’t have what in todays society you’d call a “porn pussy.” I have longer inner lips than outer causing them to “peak” out.  At any given moment my vulva looks like a flower that’s just beginning to bloom, but when I’m really turned on it’s in full bloom – open to the sun. It’s beautiful. I know it is. I really do. And yet here I am terrified to admit this. My fear makes me realize just how deeply entrenched the cultural shame is, over how we think our bodies are “supposed” to look.

It’s my hope that by sharing this slideshow we can all gain an understanding in the wide range of normal in regards to vulva styles. We birth from our vulva – it’s sacred, special, unique and has evolved to be this way over thousands of years. Our children need to know this. We all need to know this. Give your vulva a hug today.

For more information check out this fantastic video:  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/video/2016/sep/23/vagina-dispatches-part-one-what-vulvas-look-like

* Art by Betty Dodson. Special thanks to all the women who gave permission for me to share their beautiful vulva pics.

** For people reading this who have chosen to undergo labia plasty for medical, emotional or cosmetic reasons my intent is not to shame you. I realize there are times when this surgery is necessary for the physical and emotional well being of the person. It’s my intent rather to support and educate people on the wide range of normal in regards to labia so that unnecessary surgeries may be prevented.

It’s From This Collective Compassion And Mutual Vulnerability, That We Grow New Shoots In Support Of Each Other.


The spot for this photo (taken at my May Bodysex Retreat) was chosen because of the trees above us. The tree on the right side of the path had uprooted, causing it to fall towards the tree on the left. What made the spot so special though, was that the tree on the left had seemingly grown a new shoot – strong enough and in exactly the right spot – to be able to support the other one.

Like the trees in this forest each woman in a Bodysex circle is unique – with her own roots, colours, scars, and place in the forest. As we share our stories, vulnerabilities, fears, shame and pleasures we gain individual strength as well as understanding and compassion for each others uniqueness. It’s from this collective compassion and mutual vulnerability that we grow new shoots in support of each other.

There are only 2 spots remaining in my fall Bodysex retreat and I invite you to share the circle with me. //natashasalaash.com/fall-bodysex-workshop/

* * photo credit Dana Kellet

It’s My Intent To Provide The Most Holistic And Supportive Bodysex Experience Possible

BODYSEX Saskatoon-2

I’ve completed my Counselling specialization and am now officially a Sex and Intimacy Counsellor! //natashasexcounselling.ca

It’s my intent and desire to provide the most holistic and supportive Bodysex experience possible and, with that in mind, I’ve decided to offer a free follow up session to all previous and future Bodysex participants. The session can be just a “catch up” or it can be a time to go over current or prevailing questions or concerns that you may have. For participants who live out of province or country this session can be done via skype. Please contact me through either site to book. There are currently 3 spots open in the November Bodysex retreat.