Bodysex Saskatchewan Workshop/Retreat May 2020

Bodysex is a transformative and undefinable experience for women, of all ages and sexual orientations, interested in the empowering freedom that comes from shedding the masks, roles and clothing that we hide behind everyday. The workshop is done in the nude yet it is non sexual. It is about raising consciousness, creating sisterhood, integrating body shame and celebrating pleasure.

The next Bodysex Retreat Weekend will be May 15th – 17th 2020, held at a private retreat centre near Saskatoon SK. Canada. It’s the perfect place to relax, let go and just be. The retreat has a “slumber party” feel to it with healthy home made meals and snacks lovingly prepared by me and my assistant Patti throughout the weekend. Henna tattooing and hair braiding is also offered by local artist Stiina. During non workshop hours participants will be free to walk trails or the labyrinth, spend time alone or visit with the other women.

The two day workshop will include: 

  • Sacred circle where, in first person, we share how we feel about our bodies and our orgasms.  This is the time to let go of any shame that has been holding us back from fully celebrating our pleasure.  Through this, the roots of sisterhood will begin forming as we accept each other for who are. No more and no less.
  • Group genital show and tell. This is a powerful ceremony where we display our vulva one at a time, identify all of the parts of our anatomy and recognize the beauty and diversity amongst us.
  • Learn new methods to enhance our orgasms and our self loving practice. Understanding our sexual anatomy, how breath, movement, sound and our pc muscle work to enhance our pleasure on all levels.
  • Self loving, side by side, in the circle during “erotic recess.” Sharing our own pleasure, without expectation, with other women is one of the most powerful experiences that you will ever have. This is about learning to be our own lover, healing body shame, overcoming sexual guilt and sharing in sisterhood. This is also an opportunity for me to help personally guide you, towards orgasm or increased pleasure if you have never orgasmed or are having difficulty and would like help.
  •  Group massage. This ancient practice is almost impossible to describe in words. It is a transcendent experience where we are able to give and receive loving, non sexual touch from the other women in the circle.

Retreat Details:

Location: Outside Saskatoon SK. Canada. (exact location will be disclosed to registered participants only)

(transportation from Saskatoon to the retreat location provided for out of town participants for a fee)

Dates: 1pm, May 15th – 1pm, May 17th 2020

Cost: $595 CDN with vibrator, $515 if choose to bring your own vibrator. Included in this fee is the full Bodysex workshop, mystic wand vibrator, healthy meals (locally sourced and organic where possible) shared accommodation for 2 nights.

$200 NRF deposit on registration.

Space is limited to 10 participants

Please advise me of any dietary restrictions

Register on my website here or email natashawiig@hotmail.com for all enquiries.

I’m Really Over Convincing Anyone of Anything

I facilitated my first Bodysex circle nearly 5 years ago and since then, 158 women have sat in my circles — baring and celebrating their bodies, their stories, their vulvas, and their pleasure with me. There is no place on earth that I feel more at home, more embodied or more comfortable than when I’m in the Bodysex circle. It’s like a huge full bodied exhale every time. With each group of women, I’m reminded of the beauty of my body exactly as it is, the threads of connection between all of us, that none of my shame is unique just to me, and the never-ending heights of pleasure that I can reach with my oh so glorious right hand.

I love body sex. I love writing blogs about it. I love the women who show up to each circle, and the dialogue that often starts between us long before they arrive and continues long after they leave. I love that every single day that I pleasure myself, I can learn something new in my body.

And…. I’ve come to realize that what I really don’t love is the idea of doing any of the ever evolving forms of advertising that I’m told, and sometimes tell myself, I should be doing to promote these circles. It feels too much like convincing or selling and I’m really over convincing anyone of anything that has to do with me — whether it’s more time from a lover, the value of my work, or to listen to my feelings. Bodysex is powerful and…. not necessarily for everyone. Only you can decide if it’s right for you and it feels inauthentic for me to try to do anything to convince you otherwise. What does feel authentic though, is providing the space and inviting any woman — who is willing and open to this experience — to join me. I’m always here to field questions, calm fears and share in excitement (yours and mine!) — but I’m not going to try to convince you.

So with this being said I am going to have 2 set dates for Bodysex/ year in Saskatchewan (along with my Quebec dates). I will have a waiting list as well and if there is enough interest I’m super happy to add dates, but I’m not going to chase anyone or try to fill spots. My next Saskatchewan date is set for March 27-29th https://natashasalaash.com/bodysex-saskatchewan-workshop-retreat-spring-2020/and I’m working on setting a fall date for an Advanced Bodysex retreat. (for women who have attended at least 1 regular Bodysex and would like to explore pleasure deeper)

This feels good! It feels authentic, non stressful, relaxed, true to me and something that my 5 years ago self would not have had the clit for. ha ha <3

Q&A: When my husband and I are being intimate and he is inside of me, I have not been able to orgasm. Is this normal?

Dear Natasha, 

Just before my marriage to my husband, I let him know that I would never fake an orgasm. I also told him that I had never had an orgasm during sexual intercourse. When my husband and I are being intimate and he is inside of me, I have not been able to orgasm. I can have an orgasm if he or I touch around the top part of my vagina. Is this normal?

I was sexually assaulted when I was very young and I have always felt that maybe there was damage to my vagina and that is why I cannot orgasm during intercourse. 

Also sometimes sex can be painful. Sometimes me being on top can cause me some discomfort. Some angles or positions can cause shooting pain…..My husband worries he might hurt me during sex. We have 2 or 3 positions that work for us. I feel like I might be boring for him. 

After years of therapy I am comfortable with physical touch. I do feel enjoyment during sex now. I really like feeling him hard and the energy that is released just before he ejaculates. 

 – A 

Dear A, 

Thank you for your vulnerable and thoughtful questions. I admire you for asking them and I know that they’ll help all the women who are wondering the same things! I will answer them one at a time and I hope it’s clear for you to understand. 

First of all I am so sorry to hear that you were sexually assaulted when you were young. I can assure you, that being a survivor of sexual assault, has nothing to do with a difficulty in orgasming from penetration alone. There is nothing damaged about you and are perfectly normal. <3 In fact it is 100% normal to not orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. You described orgasming when your husband or yourself touches above your vagina. The part you are touching is called your clitoris and most women need to stimulate their clitoris to orgasm — with or without penetration. Your clitoris is your primary sex organ and the only organ in your body that’s sole purpose is for pleasure. Your vagina is not. Damage to your vagina would not affect your ability to orgasm during intercourse (think of women tearing in child birth) because most orgasms come from stimulation of our clitoris. The clitoris is an incredible organ and what you and your husband are touching is called the clitoral glans. Your clitoral glans has 8,000 nerve endings in that tiny spot alone, and that’s really just the tip of the iceberg! Your entire clitoral structure extends into your body and is full of a similar amount of erectile tissue as a penis(see drawings below). You may have noticed that when you’re really turned on, your entire vulva (your external genitals) swells. This is because, with adequate stimulation, we get erections too, just most of what is swelling is inside of us. You may have heard about something called the g-spot, that’s located inside at the top of the vagina. This spot is actually the back end of your clitoris which is why it feels pleasurable to stimulate. I can’t say it enough that you are completely normal and I’m the same as you — I need clitoral stimulation to orgasm during penetration too! (one exception is cervical stimulation, but that’s another question 🙂 ) 

These two drawings compare the erectile tissue of the inner clitoris to that of the penis. All the squiggly stuff in the drawings is erectile tissue. You can also see how the artist has drawn dotted lines to represent how both the vulva and penis swell and increase in size when erect. In men this happens faster but for women it takes 30 – 40 minutes of adequate stimulation (could be both physical and mental stimulation) to fully fill up with blood. We can orgasm in less time than that, but the longer we take, the better it can be because we will be more erect)

To answer your next question, there are different reasons for sex to be painful, however the way you describe the pain and the position you most often experience it in — on top which allows for deeper penetration — makes me think that his penis is hitting your cervix. This is common when we aren’t turned on enough. When a woman is fully turned on, her cervix will lift to allow more room for penetration. (see picture below) Some men can even feel the difference when their penis enters this “space” or cul de sac as it’s often referred to. When your cervix is lifted, the tip of his penis can stimulate the nerves in that area and you may find it less painful and even highly pleasurable. MANY women come to me concerned that deep penetration hurts and when we explore the issue, the answer is almost always that they haven’t had enough stimulation to be turned on. Our bodies are designed to take time and this is okay. If you and your husband take the time to build pleasure through touch that you enjoy, you may find that your body is more open to other sexual positions. I like to think that my body is deserving of the time it takes for it to fully open and invite all the pleasure in — instead of trying to convince it that it’s ready. We wouldn’t try to open the petals of a flower before it’s bloomed would we?

 

Finally I don’t think you’re boring at all and the fact that you wrote this letter asking me all of this — along with the years of therapy you’ve been through — speaks to how much sex, pleasure and intimacy are a priority for you. I love how you you pointed out the energy you feel being released before he ejaculates and how good he feels hard. (I hope you tell him these things!) This tells me that you’re very in tune with energy and the subtleties of pleasure — which makes you far from boring!  I think that all of this makes you aware, interesting, sensual, curious, exciting and a bit mysterious. Sounds like a perfect combination to me!

I have included a video from my mentor, Betty Dodson, drawing and describing the internal clitoral structure. If you would ever like a more experiential explanation of this, I’d be happy to show you mine so you can deepen your understanding. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need clarification on any of this or if you have any more questions. I’m here.

 

In pleasure and love,

Natasha

Bodysex Saskatchewan Workshop/Retreat Spring 2020 – SOLD OUT

Bodysex is a transformative and undefinable experience for women, of all ages and sexual orientations, interested in the empowering freedom that comes from shedding the masks, roles and clothing that we hide behind everyday. The workshop is done in the nude yet it is non sexual. It is about raising consciousness, creating sisterhood, integrating body shame and celebrating pleasure.

The next Bodysex Retreat Weekend will be March 27th – March 29th 2020, held at a private retreat centre near Saskatoon SK. Canada. It’s the perfect place to relax, let go and just be. The retreat has a “slumber party” feel to it with healthy home made meals and snacks lovingly prepared by me and my assistant Patti throughout the weekend. Henna tattooing and hair braiding is also offered by local artist Stiina. During non workshop hours participants will be free to walk trails or the labyrinth, spend time alone or visit with the other women.

The two day workshop will include: 

  • Sacred circle where, in first person, we share how we feel about our bodies and our orgasms.  This is the time to let go of any shame that has been holding us back from fully celebrating our pleasure.  Through this, the roots of sisterhood will begin forming as we accept each other for who are. No more and no less.
  • Group genital show and tell. This is a powerful ceremony where we display our vulva one at a time, identify all of the parts of our anatomy and recognize the beauty and diversity amongst us.
  • Learn new methods to enhance our orgasms and our self loving practice. Understanding our sexual anatomy, how breath, movement, sound and our pc muscle work to enhance our pleasure on all levels.
  • Self loving, side by side, in the circle during “erotic recess.” Sharing our own pleasure, without expectation, with other women is one of the most powerful experiences that you will ever have. This is about learning to be our own lover, healing body shame, overcoming sexual guilt and sharing in sisterhood. This is also an opportunity for me to help personally guide you, towards orgasm or increased pleasure if you have never orgasmed or are having difficulty and would like help.
  •  Group massage. This ancient practice is almost impossible to describe in words. It is a transcendent experience where we are able to give and receive loving, non sexual touch from the other women in the circle.

Retreat Details:

Location: Outside Saskatoon SK. Canada. (exact location will be disclosed to registered participants only)

(transportation from Saskatoon to the retreat location provided for out of town participants for a fee)

Dates: 1pm, March 27th – 1pm, March 29th 2020

Cost: $595 CDN with vibrator, $495 if choose to bring your own vibrator. Included in this fee is the full Bodysex workshop, mystic wand vibrator, healthy meals (locally sourced and organic where possible) shared accommodation for 2 nights.

$200 NRF deposit on registration.

Space is limited to 10 participants

Please advise me of any dietary restrictions

This workshop has sold out! Email natashawiig@hotmail.com for all enquiries.

Laughing With Our Vaginas

I came to Quebec for November’s Bodysex retreat feeling joyful, excited and immersed in deep gratitude at being able to share these beautiful circles so far from home. As soon as I saw Marika, I melted right into her loving arms, rested my face on her soft neck, and realized that I actually am home. 

As everyone began to arrive the next morning, the energy in the room was a mix of trepidation and excitement. Looking around the circle at their faces I knew very little about these women who were now sitting naked with me, and wondered what wisdom I’d gain from each of them. One by one, we shared stories about our bodies, the pleasure we have or have not experienced and how others have hurt us at the hands of their own pleasure. We cried at what’s held us back and also in fear of letting go. One woman shared that to feel good about the weekend she thought “Women…. we sure love a good laugh! And what’s laughter? Spasms of pleasure. Ok then, we’ll be laughing with our vaginas. Having spasms of pleasure together. What’s not to like about that?!” Upon hearing this we all laughed, and laughed together. 

Moving on to my favourite part of the weekend — genital show and tell —  I sat beside each woman as they, one at a time, opened their vulvas to be seen and honoured by themselves and the other women. For some of the women this was the first time in their lives they’d looked at their own vulva and, as we expressed our awe at the different colours, textures and shapes, the vulvas — like flowers — softened and bloomed with the light of our love upon them. Ceremoniously we blessed this most sacred part of our bodies and created intentions for them while welcoming them into the world — with their own right to exist and show up fully exactly as they are.

Afterwards, some of us stayed up late giving each other henna and tattoos, sharing fantasies, memories of old and new lovers, listening to erotica, trading vibrators and dildos and laughing like teenagers. It was so fun and playful and, when we went to bed, I fell asleep to Marika on the other half of the bed whispering her sensual stories to me, reminding me how wonderful it is to feel free in this beautiful body of mine. 

The second day of the workshop is a time to celebrate all that we are through our self pleasure, and we led into this pleasure with a guided touch meditation. It’s rare for many of us to take 30 minutes to touch our whole bodies — to notice the way we feel under our fingertips, to give ourselves the time we so often crave for our lovers to give us. The room we were in is small, with wooden walls that make it feel alive and warm — like a womb — and as I rode my pleasure I could feel myself being lifted collectively higher and higher by the pleasure of the other women. I glanced around and saw a woman rise up onto her knees in a dance of ecstasy, her body glistening from head to toe and flowing in all different directions as waves of pleasure carried through her while — on the other side of the room — a woman in her late 60’s looked, in her pleasure, no more than 20 years old. Like lovers we laughed, cried, screamed and roared through pleasure and orgasms —finally ending up side by side in each other’s arms. Wet from sweat, coconut oil and our own juices we held each other in sisterhood, while two women danced and sang around us. It was like a scene in a movie —except they don’t make movies this beautiful. 

Afterwards we lovingly and gently massaged each other’s bodies, and with my eyes closed, I imagined my love entering through my fingertips into their skin. Closing the circle holding hands and looking into each others eyes I thought of how  bravely we shared our bodies, shame, vulvas and vaginas laughing in pleasure and I cried in overwhelming gratitude at this life and the incredible courage of each of us. To be seen, to be heard, to be acknowledged and finally accepted in my most vulnerable and ecstatic states brings me home. Home to my body, home to all that I can feel and desire to feel, home to my heart, home to my pleasure, home to me. 

To my sisters in self pleasure, I love you: Ananda, Marisha, Puerta Mysteriosa, Dentelle, Flot, Infinity, Juicy, Felicia, Phoenix/Smile, Joya, Suspiro de la Vida and Cocoon