It’s A Buffet Of Flesh!

** photo by Justine Lustig

I took the first week in October off so that I could have some time and space alone.  After 6 months of quarantine the idea of just staring at my walls — without anyone interrupting me — seemed incredibly enticing! During this time, I decided to print all the blogs I’d ever written and see if maybe collectively I’d find something in them resembling a common theme or story. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for but, feeling like I’m at a bit of a crossroads in life, it seemed like a good idea. While printing them off, I came upon a comment from Betty;

Using my honest I’s, or sharing in first person, has been something I’ve learned through Bodysex and is a commitment that Justine and I ask each woman in the circle to make when they share their stories. We don’t want to hear about their mothers, lovers, friends, partners or ex partners’ experiences. We want to know how they feel in “I’ statements.

Carrying Betty’s words with me into the retreat, I was so excited to meet the other women and see what the circle had to teach me. With Covid-19 increasing, I knew this was likely to be the last retreat for several months and I felt “itchy” at times to reach outwards for a man to soothe my feelings of loneliness. 

Over the weekend, I sat listening to the other women’s stories and admiring their beautiful and unique vulvas. As one middle aged woman opened her legs and looked at her vulva for the first time in her life, we all huddled around her, offering love, support and reverence as if she was birthing a new relationship with this life giving part of her body. The next day, after she brought herself to pleasure slowly and lovingly beside me, she burst into tears and I held her hand — imagining that she had finally consummated this new found relationship with her self. “For the first time in my life, my body got the permission to do what it needs to do.” There is nothing more beautiful and intimate than the tears that come with pleasure. 

The weekend wasn’t all touching moments like these though — we also laughed, masturbated, shared dirty stories and farted  — marvelling at the openness and freedom we felt in our bodies when there’s no holding back. I kept grabbing my note book to frantically jot down things the women said:

“I’ve unleashed a masturbating monster.”

“It’s a buffet of flesh. Different boobs and vaginas. Don’t go near the beef curtains at the flesh buffet. They’re laced with ecstasy!”

“I am enough. I can reach drug-like highs of pleasure all by myself.  I can feel sensual and sexy and hot and desirable to myself.” 

“I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin.”

“I experienced, for the first time, the complete ease that comes from not censoring myself or my body.”

 “I feel like I’m home and I’ve never really felt that before.”

“I was able to build to the biggest explosion of an orgasm I have ever experienced! I did really really weird things with my body and I made sooooo much noise.  Like a moose/bear fighting with a ballerina, who gave birth to a hyena…if that makes sense. But I felt no shame; I wasn’t embarrassed; no one made fun of me. I was celebrated.”

For myself, I took my time with my pleasure committing with my “honest I’s” to date myself and provide me with what I am really longing for in a partner. To be made love to, to ask for what I need and listen to my response. To love myself generously through touch, words and actions. Laying in the circle with the other women I took my time with my body — bringing it slowly and softly to pleasure with my fingers,  never prodding or pushing it to respond in ways it wasn’t ready for.

Looking back on my blogs it’s not hard to see that the connection in all of them is my own honest I’s, which are always changing and evolving. When my life feels rushed and I rush myself through touch and pleasure, I lose sight of what my truths are. Coming back to this honest connection, rather than looking elsewhere for someone to fix it, always gives me the answers.  This weekend felt like a renewal of vows to myself — a recommitment to nurturing this relationship, to giving myself the time and space I need as I need it. To continually come back to myself, my truths and my love — no matter who I’m in relationship with. These are my own honest I’s. 

Thank you Turtle, Nelly, Hope, Froya, Rose, Cindy, Casey Jones, Peach, Harrietta and Bilquis.

I Will Miss You Betty

I’ve just learned that Betty Dodson has passed away. She was an incredible teacher, artist, advocate for women, for pleasure and she was my friend. She was also controversial, irreverent, gut achingly hilarious and could equally love and scold me just like a mother would. I will miss her terribly and am grateful for her guidance in leading me towards the ultimate love affair – with my self.
On behalf of all the women who have sat in Bodysex circles, we love you Betty and dedicate our pleasure to you as you carry on your journey. <3
*** I will write more in depth as I take space to feel and grieve

Vulnerability: The More Layers I Peel, The More Layers I Find

Preparing for last weekend’s Bodysex retreat, Betty Dodson was at the forefront of my mind. Currently in the final stage of her life — Betty is heading towards what she describes as the “greatest orgasm of all” —death. I felt tender thinking about her and vulnerable at the thought of carrying on her work after she’s gone. 

Because of covid -19, it had been over a year since my last Bodysex workshop and, aside from sadness about Betty, I could hardly contain my excitement at being back in a circle of women. Bodysex is always the best “reset” for me and I longed to see and be seen by the other women in the circle. 

When I attended my first bodysex workshop 6 years ago, the most vulnerable part of it was letting my body be seen. I was so focused on my physical shame that I don’t remember much thought of being vulnerable in any other way. As time went on and I felt more connected to myself and comfortable in my body, I realized that when I exposed my physical shame it almost always uncovered a deeper underlying emotional shame. Shame about my cesarean scar signified shame that my body failed at giving birth. Shame about my stretch marks represented a fear that I’m undesirable to men unless I look a certain way. Shame about my voluptuous vulva lips reminded me of my shame that I’m too much for others. Exposing myself physically was like peeling an onion and, the more layers I peeled, the more layers I found. When it became less vulnerable to be naked in front of others, I learned to find the words for my shame that was less obvious. With each circle I became more and more naked, and alternatively more and more me. 

Sitting in the circle naked at this retreat, I felt no vulnerability in letting my body be seen. I was menstruating heavily and felt comfortable free bleeding on a towel with my legs open. It’s hard to express how wonderful it is to feel that comfortable. I felt vulnerable to be seen in other ways though, and struggled at times to name my insecurities and longings in certain areas of my life. It felt vulnerable for me to recognize how much I wanted to be seen in my entirety and vulnerable to acknowledge that I’m afraid that if anyone fully sees me, they will be disappointed. 

As we took our turns sharing through words and through self pleasure, it struck me how much our fear of being vulnerable holds us back from the intimacy many of us long for — within ourselves and with others. If we feel unable to let our body be seen (by our self or by others), let our vulva be explored, stimulate our clitoris during penetrative sex, say that sex is over when we have both orgasmed, say no when we don’t want something, say yes when we do, learn what we actually like and don’t — how will we ever have the intimacy we desire? Intimacy IS Vulnerability. Without vulnerability it becomes sex. Sex is great too if that’s what we are choosing and seeking. If we want something else though — why are we accepting something different?

Sharing my stories and listening to the other women’s stories, I was reminded how much we potentially lose out on in life if we don’t step into that vulnerability — something that each women in the circle was doing simply by attending. Becoming more in touch with what I actually desire these past couple of years — and feeling confident in it — I’ve come to realize how many times in the past, I violated myself with other peoples dicks. By allowing penetration that my body wasn’t relaxed and ready for, saying yes to sex I didn’t want and by not feeling confident in admitting what it is that I really do want — that involves much more than penetration. Sitting with the women, I felt affirmed in the life I want for myself and in showing up with my words and my body for those uncomfortable conversations that are necessary for me to continue living and seeking that life. 

Years ago Betty told me, while I sobbed on her lap, that to do this work I would need to get thicker skin. As the pioneer of Bodysex it’s difficult to imagine the struggles she went through blazing the trail for us women today to learn to accept our bodies and own our pleasure. I don’t know how she could have done it without having thick skin. In many ways I’ve learned to care less about what others think and, even when I do, to continue on the path that is true for me. And yet,I still feel like my skin is as thin as the peels of an onion and that being vulnerable will likely never be easy for me. When it seems to get easier in one area, I feel more exposed to my vulnerabilities in another.

I know it’s worth it though — in the moments of intimacy where I see my true self under the next layer, or each of the women in the circle under their peeled back layers. Those moments connect us as human beings in all our beauty and all our imperfections. Those are the moments I long for and I hope that Betty will feel proud of me as I carry on her humbling and powerful work, with my soft, vulnerable skin.

Thank you to: Sing, Honour, Vi, Ishtar, Jewel, Betty, Joy, Turtle and Bilquis for allowing me to see you in your vulnerability and seeing me in mine. <3

love, Natasha

For Betty Dodson (and the unknown farmer who bailed the hay)

I’m sitting in a farmer’s field about ten minutes from my home, naked, leaning against a hay bale. 

The wind is blowing my hair in crazy directions, and I imagine myself as one of those women in books who looks wild and free and you can just tell by her wind blown hair that she had some great orgasms that day …… and every day. 

My skin is brown from all the summer sunshine, and when I turn my legs towards it, I can see my blond thigh hair, shimmer like gold. 

A tampon string dangles from my vulva and I take it out, happy that I don’t need to worry about staining any sheets in this field. 

There are two tummy rolls at the bottom of my stomach and I place my hand over them, tracing the stretch marks that make a spiral pattern around my belly button. I think back to the words of the surgeon I went to years ago, who asked me why I wanted to change this part of my body. Closing my eyes and feeling the texture that the stretch marks offer my fingers, I give thanks that I didn’t —and imagine my beautiful children growing inside my belly — pushing and stretching my skin with their long limbs. 

My eyes move down to my vulva and I see my lips like the petals of a flower blooming in the morning sun. Encouraging them to bloom some more, I move my hand towards the petals and feel their softness. Years back I used to feel ashamed of how fully I bloom. Today, I don’t think there is a part of my body as beautiful as my pussy, and I promise to give her thanks every day for the plentiful gifts she offers me. 

I pleasure myself in this field — against the bail that I imagine the farmer put there just for me. A mom of 5 on her evening walk, with her dog who’s off chasing geese. 

I laugh as I cum, and afterwards, stand up and put my clothes back on to go back to the city, my home and my family. Seeing the wet spot on the ground I think with a smile, of the abundant crop the farmer will be blessed with next year. 

*****My orgasm and my words are dedicated with endless love, to Betty Dodson – my mama of pleasure on her 91st birthday today.

Couples/Intimate Partners Overnight Workshop!

I’m super excited to be offering, for the first time, a couples/intimate partners OVERNIGHT workshop! The workshop will be held at a private acreage near Saskatoon. It will be intimate, sensual and hot!!! If you’re looking for something to help connect or reconnect in an intimate way – this may be the thing for you. For details and testimonials follow the link and as always I’m here to answer any questions/concerns you may have. https://natashasalaash.com/intimacy-in-sensuality/

I hope to see you there! <3

Guided Softening and Opening Pleasure Meditation

Ever since I started using guided touch meditations at retreats, women have been asking me to record one for them to listen to at home. For some reason this has felt VERY vulnerable for me to do and I kept putting it off. About a month ago I finally recorded one that I’ve been doing with myself lately. This one isn’t specifically a touch one, but more of a softening and opening meditation that helps my body relax and open to receive pleasure.

Softening and opening is important for pleasure – whether it be self pleasure or pleasure with a partner. Most of us hold so much tension, shame and trauma in our pelvic floor and this can inhibit our ability to feel pleasure fully, create issues with erectile disfunction, overly tight vaginal muscles, and cause pain. I remember a pivotal moment where I was working with a client to help him learn to relax and “land” in his body – so that he could experience an erection and orgasm with another person. As I guided him through this – I noticed my own body slowly landing – as if I was in an elevator travelling down to ground level. As I kept breathing with him, I could feel my body make more contact with the ground under me and with that came exquisite pleasure – even though I was not being touched at all. I realized that I was actually fully in my body for the first time. This experience showed me that even though I can orgasm easily anytime really, it didn’t necessarily mean that I am fully “landed” in my body. The more time I take to settle, to soften, to open, to let go of tension, the more pleasure I can feel.

Now that I have learned what “landed” feels like, I also know what it feels like to not be “landed.”  And because I want to honour my body and allow it the time it needs to fully settle, I pay attention to this feeling and give myself time to land when I need it. For me, being “landed” feels like I’m giving my whole self the warmest, most loving hug and I’m being hugged back at the same time.

When you try this meditation please find a quiet place to lay down. It is ideal if you can be naked, or wear loose clothing so that the air you breathe can move with less restriction. You may notice the sounds of my breath during the meditation and that’s because I did the meditation while I recorded it. It isn’t authentic for me if I’m just saying it to you and not feeling it myself. Enjoy landing into your body and feeling how good it feels to be inside you. <3

**To be inclusive of all bodies, I included both feminine and masculine genitals in it.

 

Fall Bodysex Retreat Dates!

Due to covid-19, I had to cancel 3 of my spring Bodysex retreats. I am happy to say that I have new dates for retreats in Saskatchewan and Quebec for September and October!

In keeping with the Sask. provincial guidelines currently in place which limit group sizes to 10, I have reduced my number of participants to 8 (plus myself and Justine). My September Sask. retreat is full, but there is still space in the October one, as well as 1 space in my October, Quebec retreat. If you would like more information or to book, please contact me. https://natashasalaash.com/bodysex-workshops/

During this time of isolation I am even more grateful for my self pleasure practices which keep me connected to myself and also remind me of the importance of touch and intimacy in my life. <3

 

 

Bodysex Saskatchewan Workshop/Retreat Fall 2020

Bodysex is a transformative and undefinable experience for women, of all ages and sexual orientations, interested in the empowering freedom that comes from shedding the masks, roles and clothing that we hide behind everyday. The workshop is done in the nude yet it is non sexual. It is about raising consciousness, creating sisterhood, integrating body shame and celebrating pleasure.

Saskatoon Bodysex Retreats are held at a private retreat centre near Saskatoon SK. Canada. It’s the perfect place to relax, let go and just be. The retreat has a “slumber party” feel to it with healthy home made meals and snacks lovingly prepared by me and my assistant Justine throughout the weekend. Henna tattooing is also offered by local artist Stiina. During non workshop hours participants will be free to walk trails or the labyrinth, spend time alone or visit with the other women.

The two day workshop will include: 

  • Sacred circle where, in first person, we share how we feel about our bodies and our orgasms.  This is the time to let go of any shame that has been holding us back from fully celebrating our pleasure.  Through this, the roots of sisterhood will begin forming as we accept each other for who are. No more and no less.
  • Group genital show and tell. This is a powerful ceremony where we display our vulva one at a time, identify all of the parts of our anatomy and recognize the beauty and diversity amongst us.
  • Learn new methods to enhance our orgasms and our self loving practice. Understanding our sexual anatomy, how breath, movement, sound and our pc muscle work to enhance our pleasure on all levels.
  • Self loving, side by side, in the circle during “erotic recess.” Sharing our own pleasure, without expectation, with other women is one of the most powerful experiences that you will ever have. This is about learning to be our own lover, healing body shame, overcoming sexual guilt and sharing in sisterhood. This is also an opportunity for me to help personally guide you, towards orgasm or increased pleasure if you have never orgasmed or are having difficulty and would like help.
  •  Group massage. This ancient practice is almost impossible to describe in words. It is a transcendent experience where we are able to give and receive loving, non sexual touch from the other women in the circle.

Retreat Details:

Location: Outside Saskatoon SK. Canada. (exact location will be disclosed to registered participants only)

(transportation from Saskatoon to the retreat location provided for out of town participants for a fee)

Dates: 1pm, Oct 23 – 1pm, Oct 25 2020

Cost: $595 CDN with vibrator, $515 if choose to bring your own vibrator. Included in this fee is the full Bodysex workshop, mystic wand vibrator, healthy, catered meals lovingly prepared by Aurorastar Health, shared accommodation for 2 nights.

$200 NRF deposit on registration.

Space is limited to 10 participants

Please advise me of any dietary restrictions

Register on my website here or email natashawiig@hotmail.com for all enquiries.

Bodysex Quebec Workshop/Retreat Fall 2020

Bodysex is a transformative and undefinable experience for women, of all ages and sexual orientations, interested in the empowering freedom that comes from shedding the masks, roles and clothing that we hide behind everyday. The workshop is done in the nude yet it’s non sexual. It’s about raising consciousness, creating sisterhood, integrating body shame and celebrating pleasure.

Bodysex Quebec Workshop/Retreat will be held at a private home in Drummondville, east of Montreal. It’s the perfect place to relax, let go and just be. These retreats have a “slumber party” feel to them with catered meals and snacks provided. During down time you may visit with the other women, spend time alone, journal, read or just BE.

The two day workshop will include: 

  • Sacred circle where, in first person, we share how we feel about our bodies and our orgasms. This is the time to share any shame that has been holding us back from fully celebrating our pleasure. Through this, the roots of sisterhood will begin forming as we accept each other for who are. No more and no less.
  • Group genital show and tell. This is a powerful ceremony where we display our vulva one at a time in front of a mirror, identify all of the parts of our sexual anatomy and recognize the beauty and diversity amongst us. Understanding of our sexual anatomy is the foundation of sexual pleasure.
  • Learning methods to enhance our orgasms and our self loving practice. How breath, movement, sound and our pc muscle work to enhance our pleasure on all levels.
  • Self loving, side by side, in the circle during “erotic recess.” Sharing our own pleasure, without expectation, with other women is one of the most powerful experiences that you will ever have. This is about learning to be our own lover, integrating body shame, letting go of sexual oppression and sharing in sisterhood. This is also an opportunity for me to help personally guide you, towards orgasm or increased pleasure if you have never orgasmed or are having difficulty and would like help.
  • Group massage. This ancient practice is almost impossible to describe in words. It is a transcendent experience where we are able to give and receive loving, non sexual touch from the other women in the circle.

 

Retreat Details:

Location: Drummondville, Quebec (exact location will be disclosed to registered participants only)

Dates: October 3rd, 10am — October 4th, 6pm 2020

Cost: $495 CDN, included in this price – rechargeable vibrator to take home (value $100). $395 Vibrator not included. Slumber party feel with potluck style meals and snacks.

***$200 NRF deposit on registration.

Space is limited to 10 participants

Please advise me of any dietary restrictions

Register on my website here or email natashawiig@hotmail.com for all enquiries.

 

 

About Natasha

Natasha Salaash is a Betty Dodson-certified Bodysex instructor, Orgasm Coach and Sex and Intimacy Counsellor who believes that orgasm and pleasure — when practiced consciously — can serve as a gateway into self awareness and sexual awakening. Natasha is passionate in helping women explore their mind and body to discover their sexuality, build confidence, feel empowered, and live authentically. She believes that our primary sexual relationship is with ourself and that it is the base from which all other relationships can grow. Through her Bodysex Workshops Natasha provides a safe space and dialogue of shared vulnerability, where women are supported in shedding their physical and emotional masks, learning about and accepting their bodies, developing intimacy with themselves and celebrating their pleasure.

Bodysex Saskatchewan Workshop/Retreat May 2020

Bodysex is a transformative and undefinable experience for women, of all ages and sexual orientations, interested in the empowering freedom that comes from shedding the masks, roles and clothing that we hide behind everyday. The workshop is done in the nude yet it is non sexual. It is about raising consciousness, creating sisterhood, integrating body shame and celebrating pleasure.

The next Bodysex Retreat Weekend will be May 15th – 17th 2020, held at a private retreat centre near Saskatoon SK. Canada. It’s the perfect place to relax, let go and just be. The retreat has a “slumber party” feel to it with healthy home made meals and snacks lovingly prepared by me and my assistant Patti throughout the weekend. Henna tattooing and hair braiding is also offered by local artist Stiina. During non workshop hours participants will be free to walk trails or the labyrinth, spend time alone or visit with the other women.

The two day workshop will include: 

  • Sacred circle where, in first person, we share how we feel about our bodies and our orgasms.  This is the time to let go of any shame that has been holding us back from fully celebrating our pleasure.  Through this, the roots of sisterhood will begin forming as we accept each other for who are. No more and no less.
  • Group genital show and tell. This is a powerful ceremony where we display our vulva one at a time, identify all of the parts of our anatomy and recognize the beauty and diversity amongst us.
  • Learn new methods to enhance our orgasms and our self loving practice. Understanding our sexual anatomy, how breath, movement, sound and our pc muscle work to enhance our pleasure on all levels.
  • Self loving, side by side, in the circle during “erotic recess.” Sharing our own pleasure, without expectation, with other women is one of the most powerful experiences that you will ever have. This is about learning to be our own lover, healing body shame, overcoming sexual guilt and sharing in sisterhood. This is also an opportunity for me to help personally guide you, towards orgasm or increased pleasure if you have never orgasmed or are having difficulty and would like help.
  •  Group massage. This ancient practice is almost impossible to describe in words. It is a transcendent experience where we are able to give and receive loving, non sexual touch from the other women in the circle.

Retreat Details:

Location: Outside Saskatoon SK. Canada. (exact location will be disclosed to registered participants only)

(transportation from Saskatoon to the retreat location provided for out of town participants for a fee)

Dates: 1pm, May 15th – 1pm, May 17th 2020

Cost: $595 CDN with vibrator, $515 if choose to bring your own vibrator. Included in this fee is the full Bodysex workshop, mystic wand vibrator, healthy meals (locally sourced and organic where possible) shared accommodation for 2 nights.

$200 NRF deposit on registration.

Space is limited to 10 participants

Please advise me of any dietary restrictions

Register on my website here or email natashawiig@hotmail.com for all enquiries.

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