Body Awakening for Couples

“I had so much fun exploring his body freely with no expectation. Him allowing me to do
so……. was very liberating and encouraging.” – previous client

Through my work as an Orgasm/Intimacy Coach/Counsellor and Bodysex Facilitator, a common question I’m asked is “what is pleasure and what does it feel like?” Some people aren’t sure they’ve ever felt pleasure and others understand what orgasm and release feel like, but are so focused on reaching a goal, that they don’t notice the subtle, nuanced sensations of pleasure. Pleasure is felt and experienced when we are relaxed enough to be present and aware of our senses. It can be easier to feel when movement is slow and soft, so that our body has to be engaged enough to feel it. Subtlety creates awareness. Kind of like when someone is talking quietly to you and you have to turn your ear and focus on listening to what they’re saying in order to hear. Pleasure isn’t something that happens to us, it’s something that we have to be safe, open, present and aware enough to feel. To feel, requires relaxation — something that many of us, in this fast paced and over stimulated world, find difficult. We are often either shut down or focused on the goal of orgasming or performing in some way, that we miss the pleasure.

Through helping clients learn to explore and feel pleasure, I’ve witnessed and felt them visibly “land” deeper into their body and experience a body/soul awakening from being IN pleasure. Body awakening is an experience of subtle and mindful touch of as much of your body as you feel comfortable with. Our skin is our largest organ and often under utilized for pleasure. Soft, slow, present touch, without goal or expectation of anything more, awakens nerve endings in the skin allowing you to feel more deeply with your whole body. Through feeling and allowing this touch, pleasure can move to all areas of your body — as if tiny lights are turning on under your skin with the brush of a finger.

In order to awaken your body to feeling, its necessary to feel safe and relaxed without pressure to endure what doesn’t feel pleasurable, or perform. This requires both a felt understanding of what you are okay with, and not, as well as a relaxed nervous system. Taking away goals can eliminate the feeling of needing to perform for both the person touching and the person feeling. This type of touch has no end goal and, while it is not intentionally arousing, it can be and often is. Touch in this way can also bring up emotions, feelings of love, sadness, grief, tears. Learning to breathe through sensations that come up, can help you stay IN pleasure and widen your capacity for future pleasure experiences. 

Who is Body Awakening for:
• People wanting to enhance their self pleasure or pleasure with a partner
• People with a lack of desire or interest for sex/pleasure
• Couples wanting to learn together how to be present with each others body’s
• Couples wanting and intimate practice that is not performance based
• Couples wanting an intimate practice that promotes connection
• Anyone who wonders what pleasure is or feels like, and how it differs from orgasm
• Men who have difficulty with sustaining erections or “feeling” pleasure. Who feel trapped in just wanting to stay hard and get it done.
• Men who have issues with premature ejaculation.
• Anyone feeling that there must be more than what they’re feeling in their sex life
• People wanting to awaken nerve endings so that more pleasure is available to them
• People wanting to learn to edge orgasm
• People wanting to practice being mindful and present when receiving rather than trying to achieve a result or goal. This is more difficult than it sounds and benefits are many. Capacity for pleasure increases so that you can feel more and go to greater heights in pleasure. Subtle touch and sensations can become exquisite
• Gained understanding into what full relaxation/“landing” in your body feels like vs. feeling anxious/numb/out of body. Help to identify and practice what can be done to support relaxation so this can be recreated with intimate partners
• People who struggle with feeling pleasure or enjoying sexual intimacy

“It really did feel like I was melting from a block of ice” – Body awakening client

What would a session look like?
• Body Awakening for couples requires a minimum of 3, 2hr sessions. Chances are you may want more, and that’s okay, but 3 is the minimum. The first session I will support you both to practice exploring how to feel what “yes” or “no” feel like in your body and how to express those feelings, before any touch begins. Boundaries around where you are comfortable being touched will be established ahead of time and this is open to being changed during the session. You might have felt “yes” to something that later feels like a “no.” This is perfectly normal and welcome. Once this is all figured out, I will guide you to begin the touching practice. One partner will be passive (touchee) and the other will be the toucher. I will be Coaching the toucher on how to focus on sensations in the touch rather than goal of getting the touchee somewhere. It will take practice to anchor to the sensations and not try to make something specific happen. The touchee will be as nude as they feel comfortable with and the toucher will touch as much of their body as they feel comfortable with in a slow progression. This can include their face, hands, legs, lips, arms, genitals etc. Throughout the sessions I will be supporting both touchee and toucher to use their breath to stay present in their body and in the sensations. This will also help the sensations/pleasure move and not be restricted. Both touchee and toucher will be learning to identify what relaxation looks and feels like in their body and how to come back into it when their mind wants to distract them. Initially the toucher will touch for sensations in their fingers and not for, or in response to, the touchee. This takes a bit to get used to, and is important to learn to undo conditioning of focusing on a goal. Once this practice is established we can work on combining sensation focused touch with responsiveness to the touchee – which is more advanced. The more sessions you do, the greater capacity for pleasure you’ll have.

** It’s important to note that I will be with you the entire session and will see both of you nude or at least partially nude. (Thats up to you, but the less clothes the better). I am perfectly comfortable with your nude body and acknowledge the vulnerability it takes to be seen.

** There is no guaranteed amount of time this can take as each person’s individual trauma, life experiences and comfort with allowing and receiving touch will be unique. In clients where being touched is a trigger (ptsd or trauma) it may take a few sessions to get to the point where they feel safe enough for their partner to begin touching them. Even then we may begin with just a few inches of skin and slowly expand to more areas, as long as they are able to stay present in your body and the feeling. For some people, they will feel relaxed enough to be touched in the first session. In this case I will also Coach the toucher in a trauma informed way to hold space for the touchee to help them ground. Readiness for touch will be defined through a combination of you both learning the felt sense of your full yes and no, being able to express it to each other and my own attunement with your nervous system. If you don’t feel safe enough to allow and receive from your partner, I will feel it.

What do I need from you before we can begin?
Before sessions can begin, I will need some information from both of you to help me understand what your intentions are in seeking this out, and how to best support you with any resistances that could potentially come up.

How can I book Body Awakening sessions?
If you’re interested in booking, please email me and answer the following questions.

What makes you interested in body awakening?
Is there anything that you think might get in the way of your ability to relax and receive touch?
History of trauma or fears of intimacy? (You are welcome to provide details, but it isn’t required.
Provide as much as you feel comfortable and able)

** This type of touch is soft and slow and if you have sensory sensitivities which make soft touch uncomfortable, this likely won’t be for you. If the sensitivities are potentially due to trauma/heightened nervous system, and you’d like to work through them, we can do that.

What have people who’ve experienced body awakening with me, gained from this?:
• Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure!
• Increased connection
• A beautiful practice to share throughout their life
• Better understanding of each other’s arousal
• Ability to obtain and sustain an erection with another person when previously had difficulty/unable
• Increased sensation in their whole body
• Increased arousal
• Learning to slow down and feel
• Ability to sustain arousal using breathing techniques and delay ejaculation
• Increased body confidence
• Feelings of surrender, bliss, spiritual connection
• Understanding in what their body optimally needs to achieve and sustain arousal and how to do that with a partner
• Gained understanding in how to touch others in ways that support relaxation and pleasure
• Self-awareness, presence
• Use of breath as a tool to support, sustain and move pleasure as well as for self-regulation in other areas of life
• Increased tolerance for stress. Widened capacity. Less edgy.
• Feeling of being open
• Decrease in tension