Guided Softening and Opening Pleasure Meditation

Ever since I started using guided touch meditations at retreats, women have been asking me to record one for them to listen to at home. For some reason this has felt VERY vulnerable for me to do and I kept putting it off. About a month ago I finally recorded one that I’ve been doing with myself lately. This one isn’t specifically a touch one, but more of a softening and opening meditation that helps my body relax and open to receive pleasure.

Softening and opening is important for pleasure – whether it be self pleasure or pleasure with a partner. Most of us hold so much tension, shame and trauma in our pelvic floor and this can inhibit our ability to feel pleasure fully, create issues with erectile disfunction, overly tight vaginal muscles, and cause pain. I remember a pivotal moment where I was working with a client to help him learn to relax and “land” in his body – so that he could experience an erection and orgasm with another person. As I guided him through this – I noticed my own body slowly landing – as if I was in an elevator travelling down to ground level. As I kept breathing with him, I could feel my body make more contact with the ground under me and with that came exquisite pleasure – even though I was not being touched at all. I realized that I was actually fully in my body for the first time. This experience showed me that even though I can orgasm easily anytime really, it didn’t necessarily mean that I am fully “landed” in my body. The more time I take to settle, to soften, to open, to let go of tension, the more pleasure I can feel.

Now that I have learned what “landed” feels like, I also know what it feels like to not be “landed.”  And because I want to honour my body and allow it the time it needs to fully settle, I pay attention to this feeling and give myself time to land when I need it. For me, being “landed” feels like I’m giving my whole self the warmest, most loving hug and I’m being hugged back at the same time.

When you try this meditation please find a quiet place to lay down. It is ideal if you can be naked, or wear loose clothing so that the air you breathe can move with less restriction. You may notice the sounds of my breath during the meditation and that’s because I did the meditation while I recorded it. It isn’t authentic for me if I’m just saying it to you and not feeling it myself. Enjoy landing into your body and feeling how good it feels to be inside you. <3

**To be inclusive of all bodies, I included both feminine and masculine genitals in it.


It Takes A Special Kind Of Person To Do This Deeply Personal Work


Last week I attended a therapeutic pelvic floor massage with my colleague and friend Carly Rae. Even though I had no idea what to expect, knowing how passionate Carly is about her work, I wasn’t nervous at all. I was so relaxed in fact that I didn’t bother to tell her beforehand that I was on the last day of my period. I knew that she’d be okay with whatever my body did, and because of that, I felt really safe.

Safe, relaxed and held are the best words I would use to describe the session. Carly made sure that I was comfortable and exuded a warmth and softness while at the same time extreme confidence in what she was doing. She began by working on my stomach and explained things about my diastasis (separation of my abdominal muscles from pregnancy) that no doctor had told me before.

Moving on to the pelvic floor massage, she began by softly touching my vulva to encourage relaxation. Laying back I felt completely relaxed and was able to fully enjoy her touch. It occurred to me that no other human being had ever touched my vulva in a non sexual – but pleasurable way before. It felt really nice, completely normal, and totally safe.

The internal massage was like nothing I’ve felt before and Carly explained that “It’s a massage from the inside out.” I was struck by how intuitively she moved her fingers inside me – telling me what she was noticing with each move. She could tell exactly where my bike seat rests against my pelvic bones and explained that the tissues in those areas are stuck to the bone. Using what felt like very soft touch and the slightest movements, she massaged those tissues to encourage them to once again separate. At times I felt a discomfort – not pain – and had to breathe into it to manage it.

After the full massage I felt open and fully relaxed. Working with women who’ve experienced birth trauma, sexual abuse, and physical and sexual shame I know that a healthy pelvic floor sets a base for a healthy self. I think it takes a special kind of person to do this deeply personal work and I’m so grateful to Carly for sharing her gift with us.//