by Natasha | Nov 27, 2025 | pain during sex, Partner sex, Sexual liberation, Vulnerability, Vulvas |
When a body has learned to defend itself from harm, it often shows up for women as extreme over stimulation when touched, numbness or pain. When the armor (that was created to protect from further harm) is no longer needed, it can be frustrating for the woman who just wants to feel pleasure and enjoy sex. In situations like these, I help them learn to take the power back through attuning to their own body, listening and developing awareness about what they want and need moment to moment. To help their defenses back off and their armor dissipate, their nervous system needs to know that she is in control and will choose what is right and best for herself. I liken it to her best friend defending her from a jerk until she sees she can defend yourself.
Sometimes, in situations such as these, pleasure can feel like an impossible goal and the woman may become disheartened that she isn’t experiencing it. Being treated as “sexually dysfunctional” for years, what’s wrong, becomes the narrative. In fact, the “dysfunction” is simply our teacher reminding us where guards are up and that it hasn’t yet felt safe to let them down. When this happens, we focus on bringing her back to what I call baseline or, as my client yesterday said, “neutrality.” “It feels neutral, like there’s space” she said with a smile. This incredible place of neutrality — where there’s no longer pain, just present moment connection and awareness — is where possibilities of pleasure exist.
It’s incredible to watch and feel the guards come down and a vulva come to life, fill with color and plumpness. To feel my finger welcomed inside like a warm hug – no tension, guarding or resistance. “Your vagina feels alive, plush, soft and completely normal” I say. “Take it in, receive it, feel what neutrality feels like in your body. There’s nothing wrong with you at all, you’re just helping your guards come down.” Eyes glistening, she smiles receiving it in. As she satiates in this space of neutrality we joke that we could be watching Netflix for how relaxed her body is. Sometimes she notices resistance wanting to come up in other areas of her pelvis — unsure if it’s really safe to be this soft and relaxed. She notices them, we recognize them as friends double checking in that she’s okay, and with her soft exhale she brings her attention back to the spacious bliss of neutrality.
by Natasha | Sep 29, 2021 | Bodysex testimonial, Bodysex workshops, Self loving/masturbation, Vulnerability, Vulvas, Workshops |
For anyone who wonders what a Bodysex® experience can be like, or about what I do and why it means so much to me, ….. here is a powerful testimonial from a woman who was in the circle with me this month in Quebec.
I have one spot left open in Bodysex® Saskatoon Nov. 26-28.
“My challenge for the weekend was to free myself from my blockages in relation to pleasure and to reconnect with my body and its beauty, my beauty. I got naked, both physically and emotionally, in front of the magnificent group of women that we were. Still, that wasn’t the hardest part for me. It is rather to look at myself fully, straight in the soul and in the heart. Not just telling my story and the reasons why I had come to dislike my body, but rather looking at myself from within, in order to dust off and let the light in. There, I found love for myself, admiration and wonder for my body which carried life and which can now create differently. There, I found the desire to surrender to pleasure rather than get rid of it because of the fear of losing my balance. I reconnected with my senses and my inner joy. I was able to say “I am a woman in a sexual body and I have the right to pleasure”. By saying this sentence, I have freed myself from a socially accepted view of the female body and the stifling of its power. I chose to respect myself and name my wants and needs rather than accept everything with the fear of hurting. I also learned to love my vulva, despite or rather thanks to its difference. Natasha has helped a lot in this process, because she knows how to put us at ease.
A week after the workshop, I still feel beautiful, inside and out. I feel powerful, alive and grateful. I really needed this workshop, this feeling of deep and authentic connection with other women. Each of them came to enlighten a part of me through their shared experience. I found it so beautiful to feel that despite our sometimes very different life stories, we were all linked by similar aspirations and challenges. I recommend to all those who hesitate to participate in the Bodysex workshop to dare step out of their comfort zone and dive into the pleasure zone! No matter what level the job needs to be done, the weekend will take you in leaps and bounds towards greater happiness and better self-knowledge. I could go on and on talking about the workshop…I am so deeply grateful for Natasha and Marika for having led it by goddesses hands. Thank you for offering this space of transformation and liberation. Thank you for everything!”
by Natasha | Aug 25, 2020 | Body Image, Posts, Self loving/masturbation, Sexual liberation, Vulvas |
I’m sitting in a farmer’s field about ten minutes from my home, naked, leaning against a hay bale.
The wind is blowing my hair in crazy directions, and I imagine myself as one of those women in books who looks wild and free and you can just tell by her wind blown hair that she had some great orgasms that day …… and every day.
My skin is brown from all the summer sunshine, and when I turn my legs towards it, I can see my blond thigh hair, shimmer like gold.
A tampon string dangles from my vulva and I take it out, happy that I don’t need to worry about staining any sheets in this field.
There are two tummy rolls at the bottom of my stomach and I place my hand over them, tracing the stretch marks that make a spiral pattern around my belly button. I think back to the words of the surgeon I went to years ago, who asked me why I wanted to change this part of my body. Closing my eyes and feeling the texture that the stretch marks offer my fingers, I give thanks that I didn’t —and imagine my beautiful children growing inside my belly — pushing and stretching my skin with their long limbs.
My eyes move down to my vulva and I see my lips like the petals of a flower blooming in the morning sun. Encouraging them to bloom some more, I move my hand towards the petals and feel their softness. Years back I used to feel ashamed of how fully I bloom. Today, I don’t think there is a part of my body as beautiful as my pussy, and I promise to give her thanks every day for the plentiful gifts she offers me.
I pleasure myself in this field — against the bail that I imagine the farmer put there just for me. A mom of 5 on her evening walk, with her dog who’s off chasing geese.
I laugh as I cum, and afterwards, stand up and put my clothes back on to go back to the city, my home and my family. Seeing the wet spot on the ground I think with a smile, of the abundant crop the farmer will be blessed with next year.
*****My orgasm and my words are dedicated with endless love, to Betty Dodson – my mama of pleasure on her 91st birthday today.
by Natasha | Nov 28, 2017 | Body Image, Orgasmic Women: Advanced Bodysex Retreat, Vulvas |
At my recent Advanced Bodysex Retreat we were blessed to have a woman amongst us who offered to draw our vulvas. One by one, at random times during the retreat, we took turns sitting under a bright light with our legs spread open in front of her. Even though I’ve let go of my own vulva shame long ago, it’s still vulnerable opening this most sacred part of my body to another. As a loving sister she told me the beauty that she saw in me, and pointed out details that enhanced her drawing. The length of my lips, colour and texture.
Looking at these pictures I am in awe at the diversity and intricate beauty of all our vulvas. Like snow flakes no two are alike and with each drawing I am full of awe and wonder.
Thank you to my sweet sister for showing me, through your drawings, the light with which you see me. <3
