“I’m a male that has a congenital issue with the part of my anatomy connected with sexual intercourse. When I was a teenager, rather than accept my body for what it was, I decided that it was easier for me to deal with the insecurities I had, by simply hiding that part of my body. I thought that I could avoid the possibility of ridicule that I would receive. I made the decision, at the time, not to become sexually intimate with anyone. I remained this way throughout high school. I thought, that sometime in the future, I would deal with it, but the days went by, the weeks turned into months and the months turned into years. I was focused on my career and the many other things that I enjoyed in my life. I buried myself in my work and hobbies for many…many! years, not engaging in any relationships. Two years ago (during a midlife mental crisis), something changed for me. I knew that I couldn’t go on living the way that I did. I had never had a real relationship and I needed to find out what it meant, to be in an intimate relationship with someone. I didn’t want to enter old age, knowing that I had missed out on some of the best years of my life, not knowing the value of sexual intimacy.

I went to counselling for months trying to address some of the deep seated issues I’ve had since childhood. I found that seeing a counsellor wasn’t helping me as much as I had hoped. I could see different counsellors and learn as much as I could on my own, but without actual experience, I could never really know what I was missing. I was so embarrassed to admit to anyone that I have had very little relational or sexual experience at my age. I didn’t want to date as I was worried that my lack of experience might turn someone that I really cared for, away. I decided I would try and get some experience with a one night stand. But as my mind had been so improperly wired from many years, living the way that I did, I couldn’t perform due to anxiety about my physical issue and PED. I had a very deep sense of regret about how I had chosen to live my life and felt a great sense of loss. I thought that I might never experience true sexual intimacy with someone.

While doing some research, I was very fortunate to have stumbled across Natasha’s website. Reading through some of the stories from the women (who have had body shame issues) that she’s worked with, I thought, ‘now there’s someone that might be able to help me’. I decided to reach out to see if she would be willing to work with a male client with quite different, but similar issues. During our first meeting, after hearing my story, talking and making me feel comfortable and at ease, she told me that she would come up with a plan to help me. She developed a very unique program, intent on getting me to the point that I would be able to come to terms with my perceived flaws and deal with the anxiety around this, and many of the other issues that I had developed over the years. As a holistic sex and intimacy counsellor, Natasha went beyond traditional methods, introducing me to the idea of shared vulnerability. What I discovered, was that this was key for me to be able to address my deeply hidden fears and anxieties. Her willingness to be just as open and vulnerable as me, sharing some of her own body shame and experiences she’s had throughout her life, gave me the impetus I needed to finally address my own issues. Natasha worked with me over a period of 8 weeks. During that time I recall being very nervous each time that I met with her, but each time, the shared vulnerability approach she used, gave me more and more confidence in myself. It became easier to address the issues that had been affecting me throughout my entire life.

Today, I have finally come to terms with my body and the way I have lived my life. I am now in a healthy, long term, intimate relationship. I could not have gotten to this point without Natasha’s help. I am so…so grateful to her. Thank you Natasha, you have helped me more than you could ever! possibly know.”

“I never experienced what total relaxation and curiosity could do for intimacy…the last session blew my mind. It was like a whole new perspective opened up for me. Also I was so self-conscious about being touched and in my headspace, that I never thought I could enjoy the experience. Thank you again for giving me back something that I’ve yearned for for years. It made me feel more whole and complete than I have ever felt for so long. 

I was so happy that it wasn’t my body that was rejecting touch or intimacy but my own insecurities…and I now have the tools and method to shut it up, thank you. I was nervous at the beginning of the session but by half-way……I was fully present in my body just wanting more, that playfulness, curiosity and relaxed conversation…I was so empowered knowing I had a sex drive that was clear with no nagging voices in my head. That I can be present, enjoy the experience and be capable of more.”

– Male Client