Relationship Skill Building – A Program for Men 


Through my work as a Sex and Intimacy Counsellor and Intimacy Coach, I have the wonderful privilege of working with men of all ages. These men—committed to doing their own work for intimacy—bravely and vulnerably share their stories, concerns, fears, doubts, joys and desires. They are interesting, self-aware, dedicated, insightful and above all have a willingness to do what it takes to have fulfilling relationships.

Recently while helping my friend create a dating profile, I was shocked when I saw some of the men’s profiles. Many of them were void of any insight into who they really are, what makes them unique, what excites them, what they’re passionate about or what they have to offer in intimacy. Their seeming lack of self-awareness or connection with themselves extended beyond their profile and into their messages to her. They didn’t have much to say or share, didn’t express genuine interest or curiosity in her and lacked any quality of honest and vulnerable communication. Having had so many beautiful and rich experiences working with men, it felt sad to me that these men didn’t seem to recognize what’s unique and special about them beyond what they do for a living and their interest in having a partner.

I began to wonder about them. Who were they? What did they get excited about? If they haven’t been excited for a long time, was there ever a time when that was different? Did they have any passion, interest, or desire to explore or learn something new? What were they most proud of? What was interesting about them? What were they most interested in about others? What had they learned about themselves from their previous relationships and experiences? How did they like to express love? How did they feel most loved?

I wondered on and on.

Inspired by the men who are doing the hard work, I decided to create “Relationship Skill Building” — a program for men interested in developing new skills in intimacy. This 6 session, strength focused program is designed for men who; feel their attempts at dating aren’t working well for them, want to gain self-awareness and have a more fulfilling intimate life or simply want to become the partner they would like to be:

The Relationship Skill Building Program is divided into 6, 1hr sessions:

Session 1: Getting to know you. This session will focus on drawing out and discovering your strengths, what makes you unique, interesting and an appealing partner. Through recognizing what you have to offer you’ll be better able to showcase this to potential partners. Even if you feel there’s not much interesting about you, my questions and curiosity will help you discover that there is!

Session 2: Learning to be curious. In this session you will learn how to be curious about potential partners based off of their dating profile and/or through in person interactions. Beyond that you’ll learn how to express genuine interest in others in ways that help them feel seen and acknowledged.

Session 3: Communication Skills. In this session we’ll work on the communication skills of fully listening, clarifying and asking instead of assuming. Being able to communicate effectively is an essential skill for a healthy relationship.

Session 4: What’s in the way? In this session we’ll take an honest look at your past relationship history to discover what hasn’t worked for you and what needs to change in order for you to have the intimacy and connections you desire.

Session 5: Everything and anything to do with sex. Since I’m a sex therapist this session will be focused on helping you become a better sexual partner and/or identifying what you’d like from your sex life. This session can also be used for tips and tricks to help you in any area of your sex life.

Session 6: Creating a new profile. For our final session, we will apply the hard work you’ve put into developing your skills and create a dating profile for you that showcases the awesome person you are. This can include taking photos that capture who you actually are. If you’re not interested in online dating, this session will focus on how to move forward with the skills you’ve gained from the program.

* There will be homework to do in between each session that will help you further develop and practice the skills you learn in the sessions.

* While these sessions provide a template for the program, everyone is unique and will have unique needs. Therefore, the program isn’t set in stone and I am willing to adapt sessions as needed to meet your specific needs.

* If, after the program is finished, you decide you’d like to explore your relationship skills deeper or want support to navigate your dating life, you’re welcome to book individual sessions at $110/session.

Cost: $750. This fee includes:

• 6, 1hr sessions
• Homework in between each session to help you build on skills you develop in the sessions
• A new online dating profile co-created by a woman who knows what women want to see in a profile. Profile can include photos taken by me that represent the best parts of you (no more really bad under the chin selfies!)
• Gentle and caring honesty about what you could do differently in order to have the intimacy that you desire.
• Support, support, support. Someone in your corner who truly wants you to have all that you desire in relationships and believes this is possible.
• Something to talk about with potential partners! Many women are on their own growth paths and will be delighted to share in yours.
• If you’re already in a relationship and want to build your relationship skills this program will help you do that!

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