by Natasha | May 1, 2017 | Body Image, Bodysex workshops, Posts, Self loving/masturbation, Sex and mothering, Workshops |
Last week I woke up to the sight of my 7 year old daughter laying beside me, wrapped in a quilt made by one of my Bodysex sisters. She had made the quilt for me last year in exchange for a friend of hers to attend one of my Bodysex retreats. Since then the quilt has mostly been used in my counselling office or at my retreats — providing warmth and comfort to women when they need it.
Seeing her wrapped in such a perfect symbol of sisterhood, I couldn’t help but think of the trickle effect that Bodysex has, not only on the women attending — but on the next generation of children. Even if they never attend a workshop, the very structure and concept of Bodysex is one we rarely see examples of in today’s culture. Women supporting other women — absent of competition. Real naked bodies — not on display, but simply being. Honest, vulnerable sharing of our most hidden stories, greatest fantasies and everything in between. Shared celebration of self pleasure as our fundamental birthright. And the healing experience of non sexual, loving touch from women who actually SEE us.
Tucking the quilt in tighter I continued to watch her, hoping that her little body would soak in some of the power of the collective stories and pleasures that the quilt holds. That as she grows and becomes a woman herself she will find acceptance in her body, love of self, enjoyment of pleasure and true sisterhood.
I love you Naya <3
by Natasha | Apr 17, 2017 | Body Image, Bodysex testimonial, Bodysex workshops, Nude in nature photos, Vulnerability, Workshops |
One of my favourite things about doing Bodysex as a full weekend retreat is that it gives the women more time to settle in and enjoy a space where there are no roles or masks to wear. As the weekend goes on and our armour falls away, we loosen our bodies, open our arms, and celebrate the unique beauty, talents and gifts that each woman brings.
At my retreat this past March some of the women – along with a guitar, ukelele and drums – stayed up late writing the lyrics and music to a song they titled Naked in Nature. When they called me in to hear the final version I alternated between laughing and crying over each verse. I don’t think there could be a better way to sum up what the Bodysex experience is all about than the words to this song, and if I could gift this experience to every single woman in the world I would.
The women who attend these retreats come from all backgrounds and work all kinds of professions. Our ages range from 20 – 68. We are all mothers, daughters or sisters. Some of us hate our bodies and some of us don’t. We all have different reasons for coming but regardless of what they are, we are all sexual and we are all brave. Bodysex is a space to celebrate the freedom to be who we are, our naked bodies, the depths of our pleasure and the mutual acceptance of each other – wherever we are on our own personal journey.
The lyrics to this song and the photos I’ve included give only a small glimpse of the incredible power of a group of women free to be “beauty-ful with nothing to hide.”
Naked In Nature
“I wanna be naked in nature
with the sun on my skin
I wanna be one with all things
around the place that I’m in
I wanna have sex on a secluded beach
with a blanket below me
a brown bag bottle within reach
and a northern light show (a plate of nachos)
I wanna be naked
I wanna be naked in nature
I wanna be naked
with the sun on my skin
I wanna be a body sex woman naked outside
masturbating on the grass with flies on my thighs
I wanna slip into the water
let it ripple my lips
turning and burning
with a swing in my hips
I wanna be naked
I wanna be naked in nature
I wanna be naked with the sun shining in
I wanna be one with my sisters
their hands on my skin
their love flowing over me
and soaking right in
join the circle
cum with me
leave your armour behind
we are all beauty-full
we’ve got nothing to hide
I wanna be naked
I wanna be naked in nature
I wanna be naked
with the sun on my skin
I wanna be naked
I wanna be naked in nature
I wanna be naked with the sun shining in.”
**** lyrics by my beautiful Bodysex sisters. You know who you are.
****photos posted with permission. Photo credit to Meghan Mickelson //meghanmickelson.ca and Studio Stiina //www.stiina.net
My next Bodysex retreat is June 2-4th. Book here: //natashasalaash.com/summer-2017-bodysex-workshopretreat-date/
by Natasha | Apr 10, 2017 | Body Image, Posts |
A few days ago my 7 year old daughter and I were biking along the river bank — enjoying the sunshine — and trying to spot gophers and geese.
“Mama” she said, “let’s look for houses that look the comfiest.”
Smiling at this idea I turned my eyes away from the river – towards the houses on the other side, and began looking for the comfy ones. The river bank is full of beautiful homes and it didn’t take me long to find some, but she was already pointing to her own picks. Her choices, although fairly cute, all had something about them that made them not necessarily “nice” to look at.
Curious about this I asked her “What does a comfy house look like?”
“Well “ she said, “it’s not perfect, but it’s nice. It’s really nice cause it feels nice to live in. Like our house.”
Thinking about this I paid attention to the ones she chose and this is what I saw…
Children’s bikes and toys strewn all over the walkway and front yard of a little character home. A cedar house that looked years over due for a restain, and a plain house thats only identifying feature was a person sitting on the front deck reading.
“That one looks just like ours mama.” she said.
My initial reaction was to say that I didn’t think that house looked anything like ours except that it was tiny, but I stopped the words before they came out of my mouth. She isn’t looking for perfection I thought, she’s looking for a place she’d “feel nice to live in.”
As we biked on I thought about her view of what’s nice and comfy and how in her innocence it has nothing to do with perfection at all. I then thought about my own home and how there are chips in the paint and gaps between the hard wood in the floor. It’s small and tight – like a hug from someone who really cares about you. It’s warm inside and smells like home made cooking and sometimes stinky dog. “It’s not perfect, but it’s nice.”
Then I thought of my body — the other home that I live in and how just that morning in the shower I lovingly washed the parts that maybe aren’t as nice to look at. Or are they? The elaborate spiral pattern on my stomach – stretched from the 4 babies carried in it. It’s got a different texture than the rest of my skin and no matter how hard I exercise, it can’t tighten back to the way it used to be. It’s imperfect but it’s soft and warm to touch, and it’s the place my daughter reaches her little hands for when she wants to cuddle.
I thought of how both my home and my body respond to loving care – A fresh coat of paint or good, healthy food. And how sometimes loving care means eating big juicy burgers or wrestling in the living room.
“It’s really nice cause it feels nice to live in.”
According to Senaya it seems that the comfiest homes are the ones that tell a story on the outside, of the joys and the sorrows of the owners on the inside. From my tiny library out front, to my window trim that needs repainting. From the loose skin on my belly to my c-section scar. These things make me and my home comfy to her and – I like to think – to anyone else who loves me. My body isn’t perfect, but it’s nice. It’s really nice because it feels nice to live in….
**** Thank you to my wise little girl Senaya for teaching me to look at my comfy body/home in a new way.
by Natasha | Mar 26, 2017 | Body Image, Posts, Workshops |
Body and Mind
This workshop is designed to help participants explore how mainstream culture and media aim to distort our sense of what is normal and healthy regarding our bodies. Along with this we will look at our past and present feelings about our bodies, and the influence they have on our self concept and interpersonal relationships.
This is a group workshop open to anyone and everyone who wants to gain self acceptance and self compassion, so that together we can be part of finding a solution to this cultural epidemic of body shaming.
Dates: April 23rd
Time: 1-5pm
Location: 58 – 158 2nd Avenue North, Saskatoon
Cost: $50/person due via etransfer or paypal upon registration. Paypal payments will be charged $5
Max 10 participants
****This workshop will include viewing of the documentary “Embrace.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8N_arduKL4
****You will not be required or asked to share intimate details of your sex life. The workshop will touch on how our body image affects our intimacy, however the focus will be on body image.
by Natasha | Feb 22, 2017 | Body Image, Self loving/masturbation |
Emails like this one make the vulnerability and struggle in this work worthwhile. This woman first contacted me a couple of years ago because she was having issues with orgasming – particularly by hand. With practice, acceptance and patience she is now an Orgasmic woman!!
“A lot has happened the last seven days: I turned 20, thus making it two years since I started to learn about my body and pleasure, and I masturbated by hand two nights in a row and orgasmed both times! These are big things because growing up feeling like I’m behind the in-crowd has made it feel like I’m not worthy of pleasure because I’ve bloomed a little later. But when the time is ripe, you’ll bloom! It took me two years to feel comfortable in a space and in my body in a way that I could make a connection with myself like that.
Your posts about body image and personal pleasure are inspiring, and it is absolutely lovely to see so much encouragement and self-love hope from so many people! Thank you for creating such a loving space where we can celebrate these pleasures!”
by Natasha | Jan 9, 2017 | Body Image |
A powerful story about body shame written by a male friend <3
When I read Natasha’s Body Shame blog post it struck a deep chord with me. Like nearly everyone else, men and women alike, I struggle in isolation with body shame. Such a universal aspect of the human condition shouldn’t isolate us though, it should instead unite us in open empathy. In that spirit, I wanted to add my story to hers.
I’ve been fat nearly my whole life. Being ashamed of my body has always been as natural and constant to me as breathing. I remember wearing layers of clothes to school as a young boy, even in the heat of June, in the misguided hope that it would hide my body. I dreaded changing in front of other kids for gym class and did everything I could to avoid it. I loved to swim but I would never go to a public pool. I ached with envy when I saw the lithe, thin bodies of other boys, displayed with carefree abandon in games of shirts and skins.
It wasn’t just that I had a belly. Other kids had bellies and were accepted. I think I could have rolled with having just a belly. What shamed me the most was that I also had big fatty boobs. I developed a stooped stance so that my shirt would hang forward and hide them. I did countless pushups trying to transform them into mighty muscular pectorals, but all I did was add layers of muscle under the fat.
Early adventures with girls were terrifying and, often, humiliating.
During my late teens and early twenties, when metabolism and physical labour combined to give me a rather decently in-shape physique, the body shame was still so ingrained that I had to consciously force myself to stand up straight. Even now in my forties, the supposed beginning of the “fuck it, I am what I am” stage of life, I still have to remind myself not to stoop to hide my chest.
So here I am. This is me. I haven’t reached acceptance yet but I’m working on it. This isn’t quite a triumphant “I love myself” moment, but maybe more of a cease-fire with my body shame, aided by the brave example of my dear friend.
