Here is a beautiful testimonial from a woman who attended my February Bodysex Retreat/Workshop. She sent the message to my mentor’s Betty //dodsonandross.com in thanks for sharing their knowledge by training other women to be Bodysex facilitators.
My next Bodysex Workshop retreat will be May 14th/15th 2016 at Ancient Spirals Retreat Centre. This will be the only Bodysex workshop until next winter. Details will be updated on my site over the next couple of days. Pm me to book as space is limited!
Dear Betty and Carlin,
I cannot thank you enough for making the decision to share your talents and messages of self-love with a larger audience through your Bodysex certification courses. Last weekend, I traveled to Saskatoon, Canada to attend Natasha Salaash’s Bodysex workshop and my experience (one that you know well) can only be described as transformational.
I arrived in Canada scared, nervous, self-conscious, and looking for a quick fix to reignite the sexual flame that seemed to have been lost somewhere over the past 10 years. What I found was so much more. I never imagined that a “sex workshop” could result in so much healing. After the workshop, I left Saskatoon feeling whole, seen, loved, and beautiful. The shame and regret I felt previously were replaced by a strong sense of hope and an understanding of the power that comes from shared feminine sexuality.
Now, back home, I find myself still basking in the unconditional love of my Bodysex sisters. At the same time, my heart aches for all of the women who may never have the opportunity (or open mindedness) to experience the life changing magic of Bodysex. Despite this, I am buoyed by the knowledge that, through your work, this information is being shared. Betty, thank you for your continued commitment to sharing the beauty of masturbation with women worldwide. Thanks to you vulva shame is well on its way to extinction! Carlin, thank you for helping to bring Betty’s vision and voice to an even broader audience. The work you are doing to ensure that her message is carried on is critical. Finally, thank you both for mentoring Natasha. She led our workshop with such compassion, honesty, and grace and is an inspiration to many of the women in our group. Keep up the wonderful work!
This past weekends Bodysex workshop was held at Ancient Spirals Retreat Centre, where images of spirals were represented throughout the building and surrounding land. Spirals come in many different shapes, colours, and textures and to me each curve represents the unknown, anticipation of what is to come, darkness around unseen bends, and light when something new is discovered. It has been said that a person needs to travel deep inside themselves in order to find the place where their sexuality lies. I believe that this weekend’s Bodysex retreat helped each of us women on our journey inwards, to further explore the curves and colours of our own spirals.
The first step of the spiral began when we took off our clothes, sat down in the circle and shared our stories. No words can convey how much I appreciate being able to share such intimate stories with women older and younger than me. We all hold different wisdom and yet as I listened to each women speak I recognized a part of my own self in all of them. It seems that we all just want to be seen for who we are and it is so comforting to know that I’m not alone in that. With this understanding I gained strength as we took the next step in our spirals towards the vulva show and tell.
For many women, the show and tell is the scariest part and as the facilitator I have the privilege and honour of guiding the women through it. Sitting with each one, close enough that my arm is over their leg, I see the same image as they do in the mirror between their feet. I can feel the fear and nervousness in their body as they open themselves – sometimes shaking and often apologetic about what I am seeing. I marvel at the unique beauty, colour and shape of each woman and together, looking in the mirror, we witness a visual awakening – much like a bud in bloom. Shame literally means “to cover”and just like ourselves, our vulva just wants to be seen……..They are all beautiful and one woman shared that it helped her heal a lifetime of genital shame. Watching her fall in love with her pussy was pure joy for me and, I hope for her that it will be a burst of light in her own journey inwards. As always we named our vulvas together and I couldn’t help but feel that the names signified in some way the unique journey that each woman is on.
Doing the Bodysex workshop as part of a full weekend retreat meant that we were able to continue travelling our spiral long after the workshop hours were completed. We took several winding steps along our individual paths while being physically nourished with delicious food. Conversation and laughter flowed as we shared stories of relationships, lust, pain, heartache, addictions, recovery, sexual abuse, and longing. Some spent time alone reading, journaling, walking, skiing, doing yoga or sitting in silence and I marvelled at the respect given for boundaries and space as each woman navigated the twists and turns of her own personal spiral.
Something I hadn’t anticipated was how the women would make the weekend their own by sharing talents or gifts that were unique to them. Tarot cards, building an alter, fire blessing, hair braiding, listening with presence, preparing food, and offerings of homemade creams and oils. It was like one big seamless slumber party with each gift helping and encouraging us to enter into new turns in our spirals. It reminded me how our sexuality encompasses and is enhanced by parts of ourself that have nothing at all – and yet and everything – to do with sex.
After the second day of the actual workshop was over and we began our last night together, one of the women suggested that we recreate the “erotic recess” by pleasuring ourselves in a circle around the fire. Hearing this and seeing the nods of agreement from other women, I knew that the weekend experience had undeniably impacted their lives in a permanent way. Here we were – about to break the deeply ingrained cultural taboos – by having our first masturbation circle outside of the workshop hours!
Taking yet another step deeper into our spirals, seven of us joined in and – dragging mattresses across the floor – formed a circle around the fire. Lulled by the sounds of one woman’s very loud hitachi vibrator, and shouts of “Dear God” and “Jesus Christ” we laughed until we cried, touched ourselves with new found love and orgasmed at the same time. It was a spontaneous and true celebration of pleasure and sisterhood.
This weekend I journeyed deeper into my inner spiral surrounded by a circle of sisters – some of whom I knew and some whom I had never met before. I had been nervous about being in shared accommodation all weekend thinking that I might need time alone to process. But being there I realized how nice it felt to have their presence with me as I travelled through the light and dark bends in my own spiral. I was grateful that they treated me like a peer and not like someone who has “arrived” at a destination. I’m on my own journey.
Full of gratitude and love I give thanks for the weekend, the trust in me, and for being allowed to witness the stunning beauty of:
Mary, Red wolf, Peach, Braided rose, Wishbone, Precious frisky, Turtle, Shelley, Pearl and Fox.
With love and gratitude,
Natasha
My next Bodysex Retreat will be in May. Details to come or pm me.
“A circle of women may be the most powerful force known to humanity. If you have one, embrace it. If you need one, seek it. If you find one, for the love of all that is good and holy, dive in. Hold on. Love it up. Get naked. Let them see you. Let them hold you. Let your reluctant tears fall. Let yourself rise fierce and love gently. You will be changed. The very fabric of your being will be altered by this, if you allow it. Please, please allow.”
– unknown
I picked up my beautiful sister Rebekah from the airport last night, flying in all the way from sunny California. We met a year and a half ago in an online group for women, seeking certification in Bodysex, yet had never met in real life. In spite of this we hugged like we have known each other forever and then sat in my bedroom like teenagers drinking tea, eating pot popcorn, making jewellry and talking for hours.
We held nothing back – our fears, triumphs, heartaches and stories of intense pleasure – hanging on every detail. Once you have sat in a Bodysex circle, vulnerability becomes the norm in your relationships and for this I am so grateful. There is nothing that I could say that she wouldn’t accept, and knowing that feels like I’m being held in one humongous hug. And I am. It’s a sisterhood hug.
I watch her face and her body as she tells me her stories. Sometimes there are tears in her eyes, sometimes she belly laughs – alternating from being deeply profound to extremely irreverent in the same sentence. The whole time I am thinking that this is what an orgasmic woman looks like in her 60’s. I hope that this will be me as well.
Today as I get the final details in place for the workshop tomorrow, I will undoubtedly feel all sorts of feelings. Elation, inadequacy, fear, excitement, nervousness, and absolute gratefulness. I will think of each and every woman that I have sat in a circle with and all that we shared physically, emotionally and spiritually together. Tonight I will have an orgasm (or two) in celebration and thanks to them.
Tomorrow as I take my place in the circle – undoubtedly nervous and afraid – I will go back to my breath and through it allow my tears to fall, my strength to rise and the circle of sisterhood to carry me. <3
There has been a last minute cancellation in my retreat this weekend (due to a medical issue) so I have 1 remaining space! If you are someone who doesn’t like a long time to think about things and want the experience of a lifetime, this is the perfect thing for you! There are women coming from California, Georgia, Ontario, Alberta and Saskatchewan with ages ranging from mid 20’s to mid 60’s! The collective wisdom and experiences in this circle is going to be amazing. On top of the unique workshop experience you will be fed yummy food, have time to walk, be alone, talk with other women and watch an Orgasmic women documentary. The weekend will be an empowering, moving, healing celebration of who we are and of our pleasure. PM me asap to book this spot <3
Here is a beautiful testimonial from a woman who attended my last Bodysex workshop. In every circle that I have sat in there has been at least one survivor of sexual abuse/trauma. No matter what truths are spoken in that circle, as long as we use our “honest I statements” the circle of sisterhood will carry us.
This line in her testimonial sums it up completely.
“Yes it was scary to consider being naked with women I don’t know. What frightened me more was living the rest of my life in distrust and disconnect from myself…………. Not only am I healing myself, I’m healing future generations.”
When I first learned of the bodysex workshops, I thought, ‘how wonderful, but not for me.’ This is the story I held onto for so many years. Being sexual, being confident, being open, was great for other women, but not for me. I admire a woman who embraces herself and her sexuality, but I could never do that. Maybe someday. First I need to heal.
I clung to my story like a raft on a swift-flowing river. My story kept me afloat, alone, divided and struggling in a world and life that kept moving forward. It reassured me with feelings of familiarity—be they anxiety, depression, isolation, illness—they were my friends because they had always been there. They were home.
Sexual abuse grabs a hold of the very essence of a woman, and keeps her just near the point of drowning but always afloat. I was okay, but I was not whole. I was no longer in danger, but my shame was like a black cloak on my back that followed me everywhere and made sure I felt different. I’ve told myself every version of regret or diminishment: “it wasn’t that bad, it could have been worse.” I’ve alternately been very sexual without pure emotions, or felt horrified of myself, of my sexuality and stuffed it away. I detached from that part of myself and maintained a small obligatory connection. Like I tied a rope to my sexual being and dragged it along because it was indeed a part of me, sometimes a valuable and enjoyable one, but one I wanted to keep at a distance and under control.
At the beginning of the workshop I told the embrace of women “I have lived most of my life in my head, because it’s safer that way.” I wanted that to change, but something was holding me back. I had been in recovery many years. I had a solid intellectual understanding of my experience and my role in becoming a victim. I had read great books, was in ongoing counseling, had managed to get off anti-depressant medications, and welcomed multiple healing modalities.
I had told my past and my story to some people. Most had accepted my truth and accepted me, but I still hadn’t. I told myself well they have to…they are my friend, my family, or I am paying them for their services and they are professionals who see this all the time. Or sometimes I omitted pieces of the story, and clung to those as reasons I was unworthy of forgiveness. If people knew all the horrible details, they would cringe at me. I would not forgive myself.
Yet something told me that the bodysex circle might welcome all of me, and it might help me get past this stuck feeling. Natasha’s writing on her website spoke to me. Her email exchanges were comforting but never pressuring. I finally surrendered to the notion this was a risk worth taking and I paid my deposit. I still didn’t think it would be the best idea or safe for me to reveal all my truth to the circle of women when the time came.
Yet as the workshop progressed, it became nearly impossible to contain all that secrecy and shame that burned inside me. As one courageous woman after another revealed her whole truth and her dynamic self, scarred, ashamed, and imperfect, I saw the willingness in myself and in the others to accept each other unconditionally. This was what I needed. I needed to tell my truth, and to look in the eyes of women who accepted me and my truth, and loved me the same (or even more) for it. I felt reborn through my tears and by shedding my layers of secrecy of the past that had long burdened me. I left my shame in the comforting embrace of sisterhood. We dissolved it in tears and love. I remembered who I was, and where that shame belonged.
In the weeks since that day, I feel reconnected with my full body, my full self. I can look at myself in the mirror. I can stand naked without quickly covering myself. I can touch myself with care and gentle ease, like a curious young lover. I have felt my spirit returning and my inner child heal. I feel whole, and bigger and greater than ever in my life. I feel connected to humanity because I am no different than you and you are no different than me. We are all love, we are all light. Our body and our emotion and our selves are not meant to live separately, but to shine together. We are dark and light, there is no person without a dark side.
Natasha is a gift to humanity and her passion for her work is evident in every moment. I am privileged and honored to have participated in this life-changing experience. Yes it was scary to consider being naked with women I don’t know. What frightened me more was living the rest of my life in distrust and disconnect from myself. I am so grateful I had the opportunity to take this big risk. Not only am I healing myself, I’m healing future generations.
